"Ellfant"

This is a TY beanie buddy elephant.  His name is "Winks".

Credit:  Google Image

THIS... is Ellfant.  It's pronounced pretty much exactly that way.  "Ell-Fent"

He's not as puffy and brightly colored as the one advertised on Amazon.com.  He's floppier, and he has nail polish on his paws and tail.

Can you tell yet that Ellfant is helping me write this blog post?  His tail being all right next to my computer and all.

I don't know where Ellfant came from.  When he came to my house, he was Winks, the TY Beanie Buddy, on the trailing end of the 1990's beanie baby craze.  He probably sat on a shelf or in a box for years.  I hardly noticed him.

Then, one day, this little girl came into my house.

And she stole my heart.  And I dug up all of the toys and stuffed animals I hadn't needed or cared to play with in years, just to see that smile.  A few of them, like Winks the Elephant, I wondered why I'd ever packed away.  He was so soft, after all!

Three years later, that little girl turned into this little girl.

And that little girl right there?  She 'adopted' "Winks the Elephant" as her own.  She slept with it every night.  She dragged it around the house.  She pried the (for those of us who remember the beanie craze) oh so valuable TY tag off his ear.  (I didn't mind.)  One day, I asked her what his name was.  For this developmentally delayed and speech delayed six-year-old, the only possible answer, of course, was, "Ellfant!"

And so, "Winks" became "Ellfant".  And we played a game called "Hide the elephant" - because I was too big to effectively play hide and seek, and it was actually moderately entertaining to hide the elephant in goofy places for hours on end.  And one morning, when I turned on Dora The Explorer and rolled over for a little more sleep, I woke up to find that Ellfant had been given his very own manicure... and... tail-icure?

And we were happy.

But only days after this picture was taken... yes, the one where I'm pretending to be delighted to catch bits of leaf in my mouth, just so someone could throw them at me... little girl and Ellfant were separated, for seven weeks and four days.  If I'd known it was coming, I'd have sent Ellfant with her.  But Ellfant stayed with me, and for the time being, his beloved owner was absent.  For seven weeks and four days, Ellfant slept with me.

But when Ellfant's owner came back for him - to her surprise, TWO ellfants were waiting.  She was confused.  She looked up at me, like, "How can there be two of my Ellfant?"  Then I told her a short little story.  "When you were gone, Ellfant and me missed you a whole lot.  So Ellfant had to sleep in my bed so he wouldn't be sad.  We were sad that you didn't have Ellfant to hug at night.  So then we got another Ellfant, so you could have two Ellfants - one for here, and one for there."

It took her a little while to process, but at last she was so very excited that Ellfant had a 'brother'.  Later, I told her that when I missed her when she was gone, I hugged Ellfant and thought of her.  Then, I told her that if I was ever gone and she missed me, she could hug her other Ellfant and think of me - and I would hug the first Ellfant and think of her.  It made her smile.

And boy did I love that smile.

But, as I knew when I ordered Ellfant's 'brother', we would be separated again... and we were.  But the day we saw each other again, the first words out of her (now eight year old!) mouth, were, "KATIE!!!!  I really did miss you!"  When I hugged her and told her I missed her too, so much I couldn't even stand it, she asked...

"And were you huggin' my Ellfant and thinkin' of me?"


:Cue tears:  Yes, baby, I was huggin' your Ellfant and thinkin' of you.

...just like always.

(I can't believe I'm posting this embarassing photo of myself sleeping at a Christmas party on my public blog...)


And, you know what, sweetie?

I'm huggin' your ellfant and thinkin' of you right now.



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While I can't get into the details of our (highly unusual) relationship... me and Ellfant's proper owner... I posted this story for a reason.  The trying times we've been through in the past few years have taught me some things about being apart from the ones you love, and how nothing can make that pain go away, but sometimes, things can make it just a tiny bit easier.

Right now there are a lot of families traveling for the first time to meet the children they will soon adopt.  I know from reading their blogs that this time between meeting their child and being able to bring them home can be the most trying a person has ever experienced.  It was this that reminded me of Ellfant, and how hugging him close every night made those tears fall just a little more gently when times were tough.

So - and forgive me for giving advice to adoptive families without having actually adopted yet myself... but I'm going to do it anyways - to those of you who are traveling or are preparing to travel to meet your child(ren), I encourage you to go to any store, pick out two of any stuffed animal... it can have a special significance or not, it doesn't matter... elephants never meant a thing to me before 2009.  While you wait to travel, sleep with both animals, or sleep with one yourself and have your partner or child sleep with the other.  When you travel, take them with you, in your carry-on baggage to ensure they won't be lost.  Bring one of them with you every day to show your child, to associate with yourself.  Then, if there is a caregiver that you know can be trusted, or if you know an item left for your child will stay with your child, or even if you don't and just have a little bit of hope... leave one of them behind with your little one, and take the other back home.  For every day until you return, hold your 'twin' close to you at night, remember your little one (like you could ever forget), and imagine that she's snuggling her 'twin' close at the very same time.  When your baby finally comes home, whether she retained the one you left or not, she will have a lovey with a story to tell... one that she met at the same time as she met her forever family.  And in the meantime... maybe it might bring you both just a little comfort.

I don't know.  Maybe it's corny.  Maybe I'm a sap.  But all I know, is that when I heard those words, years after explaining the two Ellfants to her... "And were you huggin' my Ellfant and thinkin' of me?" ...that tear in my heart healed up, just a little bit.

I love you, Princess.  Me and Ellfant are here waiting for you.