Changes

First of all, on the off-chance that anyone has noticed my slight absence from blog-world, I apologize profusely for having robbed you of my endearing presence and shall now proceed to enlighten you on the reason for this.

I wrote recently about the three little blessings I refer to as my DBKs (Dear Borrowed Kids), and how I had been feeling as though the younger two, who are half-siblings, were slowly slipping out of my life.   I have spoken before about how God prepared my heart for adoption and for special needs kids in many ways... and that the most recent are these kiddos.  


I can't share the circumstances, but... they're here!  Here, as in, back in my life for the forseeable future!  Here, as in, I get to hug and kiss them every day.  Here, as in, I get to go back to going through peanut butter, jelly and bread like a family with six kids.  Here, as in, I've changed at least two poopy diapers today.

What I can share... is the new reality... and the JOY.  Every time I think I know the road God has planned out for me, he changes something up, and I'm not so sure.  I guess God knows I'm not good with change, and he's just getting me ready.  Now, I think God might have even greater things planned for me - for all of us - than I ever dreamed.

In the morning my alarm buzzes at 7 am.  Yuck, an hour I wasn't exactly used to seeing since losing my job in November.  It takes me a good half hour to get out of bed.  It's just so cozy and peaceful!  But I know as soon as I get up, chaos reigns.

When I get up, the 2 year old little boy who slept across the room from me wakes up.  He babbles at me and follows me upstairs.  "Wake sissy!" I say, and he toddles up to A's room and babbles at her too.  She's groggy but she loves school and especially the bagels my mom makes for breakfast.  My mom loves sharing them with her.  We get her dressed - outfits fit for a princess, of course - eat our breakfast, pack her favorite lunch (Peanut butter and jelly, a banana or a cutie orange, and a treat.  She gets milk at school.  I change little man, get him something to eat, and then we go drop her off at school.  We pick up my friend's kids some days, we go to a friend's house some days, but our days are always full of goofy grins, infectious giggles, hugs and slobbery kisses, long stories about what happened at school, that after-bath-clean-hair smell, delicious food, and love. 

AJ is almost 2.5 years old.  He's mostly nonverbal.  He says a few things.  He says Mama, and Duck, and Ball, and a few other attempts at words.  When he eats something he particularly likes, he rubs his tummy and goes "Mmmmmm".  When he wears his train shirts, he says "Choo choo!"  (although it comes out more like 'Too too!').  Today, we learned that when he wears his robot pajamas, he tries to say 'robot' and moves his arms in a mechanical fashion.  Earlier, when we were at a friend's, we discovered that when Dora comes on and Swiper the Fox pops up, he makes the motion with his arm and babbles a toddler version of "Oh, man!"  Earlier I caught him eating ketchup with his fingers.  Just like his sister with the ketchup.  He hates the car seat, but he loves the stroller.  He's huge for his age, solid, breaking my back picking him up all the time!  He likes to open and shut doors.  He hates the word "No" and will screech like a pterodactyl if you say it, for any reason.  If you leave a glass or a can of pop within reach, he'll drain it when you're not looking, and you won't know until either you find the empty glass, or you find him with pop all down his front.  He's not a fan of sippy cups, but he's okay with straws.  He hasn't quite mastered not tipping the straw cup.  He loves books.  He doesn't like to have his hand held, but if you hold it just right and talk to him calmly, he'll let you do it for a while.  I could go on and on about him, and his quirks.  My little man.  Burying his little blonde head into my lap while he giggles.  I love him.

And A.  A practically lives for the simple cheese bagels my mom makes in the morning.  She's a tiny thing, barely tipping the scales at 44 lbs.  She had ADHD and she takes medication for it, and she's stayed on green at school all week (good behavior!).  She has a speech delay, and right now we're working on "er" sounds.  She struggles with that one.  We've been using Tony the Tiger... "They're Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!"  She wants to go to the park every day.  She asks every day when the pool is going to open, and if we can go when it does.  She wants an iPhone for her birthday, but she's getting something much better.  She loves her hair long, but hates to have it in her face.  Her bangs are growing out and it makes her look so much more grown up.  She makes me do a page of an iSpy book with her before bed every night when we read.  She can't stand her little brother playing with her toys or going in her room.  She loves animals.  Today she told me she wanted to be an animal rescuer (Diego much?)  I told her she could work at a zoo, because that's what they do at zoos, and she said "Yeah, but I don't want to clean up elephant poop..."  After 7 years she still can't say M's name correctly.  Tonight, we read our Bible story, we read one every night, and tonight we read about when Judas betrayed Jesus and they hung Jesus on the Cross.  When we ended with the words of hope that Jesus' friends would see him again, she couldn't wait to hear the next story... even though we just read it last week.  She's a good girl.  She's come so far.  From that scared little girl that I first met, to this little girl who hugs and snuggles me.  I'm so proud of her.  I miss her even just while she's at school.  I love her.

This is my world now.  This is why I'm absent from blog-world so much lately.  This is why I'm just now catching up.  And I'm so happy.  Yes, everything has changed.  Yes, it's caused me some anxiety.  Change always does.  But this, is good change... having them here.  The circumstances surrounding the situation are not good, but snuggling them every day... I wouldn't trade that for the world.

So.  As God's plan for me continues to unfold, I'll continue to blog and be honest about as much as I can without betraying anyone's trust or putting anyone at risk.  For now, we... three, four of us... are doing just fine.  Thanks Be to God.




Tomorrow, I'm going to blog about some different things... more about me, and how I became me.  It is deeply personal and I have rarely discussed it in fourteen years.  But it is a story that needs to be told.  And I'm going to tell it.

Goodnight, blog world.  It is a happy one in the Crazy House.