Take today for example. I can tell you probably half a dozen different times I've been impatient. Last night, M and I stayed up all night waiting to go see a meteorite shower. We busied ourselves cleaning, playing games, watching one of my favorite movies that I haven't seen in over a year because I always sob like the world is ending... finally went out and got into the car, drove far from the city, and settled in a spot at a state park to watch the sky. Instead of shooting stars, we saw nothing but clouds. Impatience from me. Come on clouds, go away so I can so M the meteorites! Alas, the clouds did not go away and we headed home, stopped for donuts, and came in the house.
Once in the house, I grappled through my bag and then looked at M. "Where's my phone?" Called it three times. Both of us listened for it. Looked everywhere. Nope. Left it at the state park, 25 miles on country and township roads AWAY from where we lived... at 7:00 in the morning when neither of us had slept.
Oh BOY was I impatient then! I sure am glad nobody caught me speeding... I complained loudly about wishing I had a teleporter to go get it on the way there. On the way home, I rested my head on the steering wheel at stop lights, whined about how tired I was, while M passed out in the seat beside me (I told her she could go to bed, she didn't have to come back out with me... she wanted to). When we finally got home my stress level was through the roof because of all that impatience.
We slept for hours, and when I woke up, the first thing I did was check my phone. You see, since my sweet Boo passed away two weeks ago today, I didn't feel ready to bring home another kitten right away, or even to look for one. I was still hurting for the one I had lost. Finally, last weekend, we made a trip to an adoption center, with no intentions of bringing a kitty home... just allowing me to see them and pet them and realize that I had been given an opportunity to give another cat a happy home. After that I was ready. But I'm picky and I had some caveats... I love black cats, it has to be black. The lady at the adoption center said they're hard to get adopted anyways, because of superstition. How horrible! Me, always the one rooting for the underdog, was reminded of the PEOPLE societies throw away because they're 'unadoptable'. Yes, black cat it had to be. It had to be male - we already have one male, and though we neuter, we're unsure of what the dynamic would be bringing a young female home. And it had to be young, young enough to bond with me. Not too young to where it would be detrimental to its development to seperate it from its litter, but newly adoptable - or even an orphan. Yeah, that's me, lover of orphans, even the feline variety.
The 'right' kitty wasn't at the adoption center that day. I spent a week trying to get a hold of them to find out if they had any in foster care that would be ready soon. Impatience set in and I put out an ad on craigslist. Within hours someone had responded. We e-mailed back and forth for a couple days. Someone else responded and I e-mailed with him. It was his call I was waiting on when I woke up... at 2:45 this afternoon. And every minute it didn't come, I got more and more impatient, until I finally sent him an e-mail asking what was up. Spoke to him and it seemed like things weren't going to work out today. Nah, not gonna work for me - too impatient. Sent a text to the girl. She fortunately responded quickly. Then things slowed down, waiting for arrangements to be made to meet the kittens she was caring for. This time, it was after 6 pm, and I was so impatient that I was ready to get in the car and drive up to the cat adoption center again, just to check in person (since they were so hard to get a hold of) if they had anyone available for me. Alas, as I got in the car to go, I fortunately checked my phone and realized they weren't even open. Scratch that (no pun intended). Went back in the house, checked my phone and refreshed my e-mail about a hundred times. Finally I thought I'd be clever and use murphy's law to my advantage... set to work moving and cleaning under my bed so that I'd surely be busy and filthy by the time I heard from her. No avail. It is very clean under my bed... I even changed my sheets and MADE my bed, which I don't generally do (why bother? You're just going to mess it up again!), and there was no word. Exhausted from impatience, I settled on my bed, checked my e-mail and my phone one last time, and settled to sleep. Word didn't come until almost 9 pm that I would have to wait until tomorrow to meet this new fuzzy buddy.
BOY was that a lot of impatience over a matter of 24 hours or less!
When I woke up, I was impatient for a new episode of a favorite show to come on. Fortunately, I have my DVR set to record it, because when I realized I hadn't blogged today, and that I had the perfect idea, I went to my blog-zone... where I don't really pay attention to anything but my blog. Right now I'm impatient thinking about publishing this post, seeing if/how people respond to it.
And do you know what else I'm impatient about?
Go on, guess. It's not so hard, I promise. I bet you know already, even if you don't realize it.
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.....
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Brett. Angel Tree. Every single day that goes by that his little face is NOT on the 'My Family Found Me' page at Reece's Rainbow. Talk about refreshing something a million times - do you know how many times a day I check if he's on MFFM, where he is in the AT voting, whether anyone else has spoken up for him?
Have YOU voted for Brett in the Angel Tree yet? He NEEDS your vote guys, this week's voting is neck and neck! I'm impatient to raise the money this little guy needs to help a family commit to him. I'm impatient to see his face in the 'winner's circle' on AT, and know that in a few months' time, his grant will have grown substantially.
And then I think.
And I remember my last blog post.
And I remember that in ten days, Brett will turn eleven years old.
Eleven years spent in hospitals, orphanages, and institutions. Who knows how long he spent lying in that field, abandoned by his mother. Who knows how long he waits every day (or MORE) for something to sooth his hungry stomach, for clean clothes or sheets, for the blissful relief of sleep... the things I've been taking for granted in my impatience all day.
Wow.
That's humbling.
And then I think again, and I realize something even more heartbreaking. I've been impatient to bring a new kitten home for a week, tops. How long has Brett been waiting to COME home? How long has he waited to find a family to call his own? ELEVEN YEARS! At this point his disability is almost a blessing, because maybe he doesn't know how to be impatient, maybe he doesn't know there's another way to live, one with a family and a full belly... maybe he doesn't know enough about what he's missing to even be impatient.
But he's still waiting.
And waiting.
And waiting.
And every time I refresh that page, hoping to see his face on the 'rescued' page?
That's one more moment HE waits to be RESCUED.
Imagine waiting ELEVEN YEARS for something as vitally important as a HOME, a FAMILY, a full stomach... or just for someone to notice you! Imagine the days, all blending together because they're all the same, each one of them without any news that you will get what you so desperately need. Imagine not knowing how much longer you're going to have to wait... or if you're ever going to get what you so desperately need at all! Put yourself in sweet Brett's place. Notice him. No, he won't know you noticed him today, but if we all share him, vote him up to the top of the angel tree, raise his grant fund... one of these days, his FAMILY will notice him... and no, Brett probably won't know that right away either... but then a day will come when someone comes just to see HIM, just to spend time with HIM, and the days he spends without the love and care he so desperately needs will be numbered. And he'll patiently wait, each day, in the institution, for that day to come when he is free.
Please help me, don't make him be patient any longer. Change starts with us. If you can't adopt, donate. If you can't donate, advocate. If you can't advocate, share. If you can't share, pray. If you don't pray, vote. Everyone, EVERYONE can click that little star above sweet Brett's picture... and maybe you'll never know how big a difference that makes... but it doesn't make it any less real.
Tonight... well, I'm still as impatient as ever... but not over phones or kittens or TV shows... over a little orphan boy who needs a family to call his own. And if that's not a good reason to be impatient, I don't know what is.
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