The Right Words

In the wake of unspeakable tragedy on Friday, millions of people are trying to find the right words.

To comfort the grieving.

To say to their children.

To describe how they feel.

To end the violence.

To ease the pain.

"I'm sorry" falls so pathetically short.  "I'm here for you" just doesn't seem like enough.  "Heartbroken" can't even begin to describe it.  Even "I am praying" can't do enough to take away the pain.

Many seek comfort in the Word of God when the words of man cannot speak strongly enough to their hearts.

I am sure that nothing can separate us from God's love - not life or death, not angels or spirits, not the present or the future. (Romans 8:38)

Jesus then said, "I am the one who raises the dead to life!  Everyone who has faith in me will live, even if they die.  And everyone who lives because of faith in me will never really die.  Do you believe this?  (John 11:25-26)

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.  (Matthew 5:4)

But Jesus said "Let the children come unto me, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven."  (Matthew 13:14)

His Truth lends aid to many, its worth cannot be overestimated, and yet, even the Word cannot erase the pain.  God did not promise that all our days would be without pain - on the contrary, he told us they would come!  In the same breath, He promised to guide us through them.

Two years ago, I remember discussing this very topic with my best friend after the bad news had come that her cancer could no longer be treated - when the 'if' we hadn't even dared to consider instead became a 'when'.  Angie was an amazing and unique person - there's not a soul on this earth just like her and there never will be.  As we had that serious conversation one night, we came to the conclusion that the 'right' words just didn't exist.  For as much as we both loved words, loved painting a picture with them, finding just the right one for every situation, they fell far, far short in times of grief.

Then, because we were both silly and couldn't stand to be serious for too long, we decided to make up our own word, to say all the things words couldn't say.  To say I love you, I'm with you, I'm sorry, I wish I could make it better, there are no words to express to you the depth of my emotion.  The word was "spingledon".  Then we had a good laugh about our new made up word, and like words themselves never could, each other's friendship and understanding comforted us both.

Another time, I remember agreeing with her that, "It's not what you say - it's that you cared enough to say it."  And that is what I want to leave you with tonight.  My best friend Angie was wise beyond her years, and a year and a half ago, she herself went home to be with God far too soon for any of us who knew her.  But I draw comfort today from the knowledge that she and her wisdom are there in Heaven, lending love and comfort to the children we are all grieving.

If you are grieving, if you are seeking to comfort the bereaved, if you are trying to put your feelings into words and coming up frustrated and empty handed, take heart.  No one has the 'right' words.  We all feel our way through the darkness, doing the best we can, and in the end, it's not what you say, it's that you cared enough to say it.  Your sentiment will shine through.

My choice of words for all of you?

"Spingledon."