Go ahead, call me crazy.

A few weeks ago, someone on a message board I frequent, www.car-seat.org, posted that she had seen a photo of a tiny child, said to be nine years old, weighing only 10 lbs, in an infant seat.  Opening the post, I thought, that's surely impossible, children have been born weighing more than that!  A nine year old could surely never be that tiny.  Then someone linked the blog address of that little girl's mother.  I clicked over to see this child and came upon a blog called The Blessing of Verity.  There, I read the story of a mom named Susanna, her eleven children, and her two youngest daughters, Verity, who was born with Down's Syndrome, and Katie, a little girl sharing my own name whom they had just brought home from Eastern Europe.  If you'd like to 'meet' Katie for yourself, check out Susanna's blog.  There are some recent pictures of Katie doing absolutely beautifully after only a month home!

I watched this video (click to watch).  I want to warn you before you view it, that you are about to see shocking, sad things right before your eyes - but it is worth it.  The reality is, we are often sheltered here in America, unaware of just how terrible the situations of others are.  We get swept up, especially this time of year, in commecialism, want, drama... first world problems.  Yet every day that someone here frets over getting a toy at Walmart on Black Friday, children sit in orphanages and mental institutions around the world, left to languish without a family to love or care for them, or enough food to fill their bellies.  These children can't 'click away' from the sad video; it is their life.  They can't close the depressing blog post; they are living it.  Watch the video.  Don't bury your head in the sand.  See what I saw, what so many others saw, that brought to light the condition of these poor children.

After watching the video and reading Katie's story, I clicked over to another site, the website of the organization through which Katie and hundreds of other children have now been adopted.  It is a site called Reece's Rainbow.  On Reece's Rainbow, you will see many, many children with special needs, from Down's Syndrome, to FAS, to physical abnormalities, and even to a few children who might have been completely developmentally typical had they not lived out every one of their days in an institution.  Take a moment.  Look at the faces of these children.  Look at their eyes.  Eyes filled with sadness, having never known the love of a family; to eyes filled with hope and joy at the prospect of going 'home'.  Read their stories.  Think back to that video.  Right now, as you sit comfortable, safe and warm in your home, these children are all but abandoned, alone, starving.

So why am I posting this, if not just to send a huge guilt trip out to everyone who has been caught up with 'first world problems'?  Simple:  Only by spreading awareness, can we truly CHANGE the conditions these children are in.  Yes, international adoption is very expensive.  Yes, there are children right here in the United States in need of families.  Yes, the process can be very difficult and at times absolutely heartwrenching.  But should we turn away, from the smallest, neediest members of this world, simply because the job is too big?

I'm sure you can all see what I'm getting at.  Of course I don't expect everyone to share my passion for children, to bring them into their home, to jump immediately into the frustrating yet rewarding world of adoption; but do I think we should help?  Absolutely.  $25,000 is a hefty ransom on the head of a child.  I certainly don't have even a fraction of that sitting in my bank account, and I don't expect anyone else to either.  But since when do we give up on children, on people, because they cost us money?  Since when do we decide someone is not worth saving because the treatment needed to save them is too expensive?  No, I don't expect you all to read this post and instantly decide to adopt internationally.  If you feel called to do so, as I did when I read about little Katie (I think our shared name was God's little tap on my shoulder, that He was calling me to a higher purpose than that to which I had called myself), that's wonderful.  There are many, many children on Reece's Rainbow still waiting for a Forever Family.  But if you don't?  Maybe you could spare a few dollars, or ask for contributions in a child's name in place of Christmas gifts.  I personally can't think of a better way to celebrate the birth of our Lord than to be blessed enough to help His children; for each and every one of them are made in His image.  And if you don't share those views about the reason for the season, you must at least agree that at some time in your life, you've realized that the greatest gift, is to give.  Give, just a little.  If you can't give, a situation I'm in right now, then share the story of these children.  Share it with the people around you, so that they might share it, and word might spread, until we raise all the money needed for their ransoms, and bring them all home.

But I didn't start a blog simply to ask other people to put time, money and effort towards the costs of these children.  No, I started a blog, to chronicle my own journey.  If you know me, I'm sure you've guessed where I'm going with this.  From the moment I watched that video, saw those poor emaciated children, alone and crying out for food, for love, for interaction... I knew.  I have been called by a higher power than myself, to make a difference.

So go ahead.  Call me crazy.  Tell me I'll never raise $25,000.  Tell me I'm being naive.  Tell me that just like many of my 'projects', I'll lose my resolve.  Tell me it won't work out.  Tell me I don't have the resources.  Tell me there are simply too many children to help, and their problems too great.

But I won't listen.

It's not going to happen today, or tomorrow, or even next year, but one day, I am going to bring one of these children home.  Maybe more than one.  Maybe so many that my home is bursting at the seams.

Nearly every family's blog that I have read has commented on how at some point, someone told them they were wasting their time and money, that they were making this choice for selfish reasons, or that they were using their children to further a political agenda.  The harshest criticisms have been thrown towards these selfless individuals who choose to heed this calling in their lives.  Does it stop them?  No.  Will it stop me?  Not one bit.

It's a big task.  It's a lifelong commitment.  It's a lot of money.  It opens you up to heartbreak, to criticism and to stress and strain. But click back over to Susanna's blog, and look at Katie's smiling face, bow in her hair, propping her head up on her hand.  I know her mama would tell you that she was worth every cent, and every tear.

$25,000 is a lot to raise.  There are many requirements, which vary widely by country, to adopt internationally.  So, rather than give up, call it too big of a job, I start now.  The minimum age requirement is 25.  There are approximately 845 days between me and the age of 25.  I choose not to see that as an obstacle; I choose to see it as a gift.  I have 845 days to prepare myself, a home, a life, a ransom, for the life of a child.  I have the most amazing angel in Heaven looking out for me and my child-to-be, my dear friend Angie who herself hoped to adopt twin boys someday.  In my mind's eye, I can see her, in her words, "legs dangling off the edge of a cloud", looking down and telling me I can do it.  What mountains can't be moved with Heaven on my side?

So today, I start with awareness.  I start with the very first post of this blog, which I hope to be a legacy of love, a 'birth story' for a child to read someday.  I have surgery scheduled later this week.  The first order of business, aside from writing on this blog, is to have that surgery and heal myself, all the while working on raising awareness about the condition of these kids, and maybe even doing some fundraising for families who are ready to bring home their children now; in fact, I know of a Mama right here in my home town waiting to bring home two more children.  Then, I work on finding a job which will pay my living expenses and allow me to put a little away every day for my adoption fund.  Those are the first steps down a long and winding road.  It will lead places I didn't expect.  There will be roadblocks and delays.  I may not have a clear map in front of me, showing me exactly which point to strive toward next.  But I will reach the finish line, and I will bring home my child.

I plan to continue blogging about this journey - right now the posts will mostly be about my thoughts, about other adoptive families with permission from the parents, about children waiting on Reece's Rainbow.  Eventually I hope to use it to keep tabs on my own fundraising efforts, and ultimately, my journey to bring home one of these angels.  Please feel free to follow my journey and that of those who have walked this path before me.  If you feel so led, start a journey of your own.  There is an amazingly supportive community out there working tirelessly and never quitting until every last child has a home.  Join it, in whatever way you choose.

And yes, if you want to, call me crazy.  How is that different from any other day?  ;)  Go on, I've invited you.  But if you think you'll stop me, think again, because this crazy lady, is on a mission.

Meet crazy, goofy, me!