But let's start with the small stuff. This is fun. I love watching her on her birthday. This is a little girl who more than once has had nothing to her name, to whom birthdays were only another day, just with a bit of ruckus that she didn't understand. I have photos of her third birthday... not on my computer but in print... and I see a scared, befuddled little girl trying to understand why all these grown-ups are standing so close to her, and why she can't just grab that yummy cake in front of her. Tuesday, this is what I saw:
Our thanks goes out to our friend Shannon (whose adorable daughter is on the right) for the gorgeous cake! It was as delicious as it was beautiful!
And this is even before she found out what her BIG PRESENT was. Look how happy she is. She took forever making her wish. The candles dripped. I wondered what she was wishing for. I hope she gets it, whatever it is.
After this we ate the deliciousness until just a quarter of the cake remained (I'm still convinced there couldn't possibly have been enough. Shannon may not know it yet, but she's earned herself a regular customer...). Then we brought down The Big Box.
She didn't get it at first. She didn't understand. She knew it was something good, we were going someplace fun, but what else was in that box? The look on her face was like the look when she first saw her re-decorated bedroom
Complete and utter inability to comprehend what was before her. When I took this picture nearly two years ago, it was as though I could hear her thoughts... "This is for me? All for me? For real?"
It was the same on Tuesday. As she started to go through the contents of her suitcase, her excitement mounted, although sometimes I had to explain things to her ("why am I getting gum?" --airplane, silly!). Over time it set in. She took the announcement card I made that was attached to the balloons to gymnastics with her, and was so excited to share it with her teachers and classmates.
Then, the greatest gift of the whole day happened, on the way out of gymnastics. She looked at me in the parking lot and said, "I am just so happy today because of you, Katie."
Be still my beating heart. Maybe she didn't squeal and immediately comprehend what was going on when she opened the box. Maybe she didn't react quite the way a typical child would - A has some delays. But that sentence, out of the mouth of the little girl who was turned to stone by my hugs for years... well, I would wrap a million giant boxes of balloons for that.
Every day since then, she has told me how excited she is, how happy she is, and she makes sure to tell me thank you for her gift. You know, the one that hasn't even happened yet. As I tucked her into bed tonight, she said "I am just so excited, I just can't stop thinking about it, and thank you, Katie!" ... followed by a big hug. Arms around the neck hug.
This child is truly grateful for what she has been given. She didn't look up at me at the end of the day and ask whether there were more presents. She looked up at me and said "I'm happy. Thank you." Life has taught her that some things are simply not to be taken for granted, particularly gestures made out of love. Certainly she still had a lot to learn, but in turn, we have a lot to learn from her too.
Over the past few weeks, I've heard similar cries of thanks from the blogs I follow. Families working hard to bring their children home, each day without them a struggle (one that I know too well), swallowing their pride and asking others for help, and then, rather than saying "What else can you do for me?" - they pause to simply give thanks for every last gift. It is humbling to sit behind my computer and read about the mountains God is moving for these children, the people who pour their hearts and souls into saving the lives of these children, those who give selflessly, those who receive gratefully. It's a world that I'm grateful to be a part of. A world that I'm grateful to have been welcomed into.
Many of these families will bring home children with much more serious delays than my A, who have been even more deprived their whole lives long. These children will express that appreciation for the simplest of pleasures, for the things we take for granted. A filling meal. A clean bed. Someone to hug goodnight. Someone to love them.
It has made me think... perhaps we should all be more like all of them. The children, the families, my A. Maybe - no, definitely - we have a responsibility to learn the lesson they are subtly teaching us.
Look around you and give thanks. Don't ask, "What can I have next," when you could say "Thank you for what I've been given." Those of us who are Christian, if we have truly followed the Bible, know that we are truly unworthy of the gift that God has bestowed upon us, the gift of life, and the gift of salvation. We are so unworthy that nothing we can do can possibly make us deserving of this gift. But I think we don't often enough thank Him for it. I know I don't. In the three days since A found out about her birthday trip, she has thanked me more than as many times. Yes, she's excited, but she doesn't only express that she's excited. She doesn't take it for granted. She remembers to give thanks.
When I think about it, I realize that I absolutely do not thank God enough for His amazing gifts. Honestly, even if I spent every moment in prayer, I could not achieve that. But I have not been trying hard enough. I have taken for granted things that I should be eternally thankful for. For that, I am sorry. Tonight, I want to be grateful. And I've come to realize... I have so much to be grateful for.
I am grateful for my life. My salvation. My Lord, who died for me on the cross.
I am grateful for my family, for the life I was born into, for the privileges I have had, for the people around me.
I am grateful for my Dear Borrowed Kids, for the opportunity to teach them and the opportunity to learn from them.
I am grateful to be a part of the adoption community, even though my own adoption is at least two years off. I am grateful for how welcoming everyone has been. I am grateful for their friendship.
I am grateful for the lives of millions of children I have never laid eyes upon. Every single individual life. The orphans. The ones we are all trying so hard to help.
I am grateful for the priviledge of watching them come home, watching them blossom and grow and change, seeing the bountiful meadow revealed by the mountains God has moved to bring them home.
And so much more. But tonight, I am humbled by the thought that I have been given amazing gifts - opportunities to watch God in action. Opportunities to witness human kindness and compassion. My heart is full of love today, for my A and my other two DBKs, for the orphans, for their families, for every single person who supports them... for the lesson I learn from them about being grateful.
To all of you who are reading this, you are the ones I am grateful for. Thank you... for everything you do. Thank you for changing children's lives. Thank you for changing my life.
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