A quick update... God is Bigger!

This week, I rented a Veggie Tales audio CD from the library.  I also bought a Veggie Tales coloring book.  Yes, I do have children in this house 9 days out of 10.  But um - I'd be lying if I said I obtained either of those things entirely for them... *snicker*.  Yes, I love Veggie Tales... oh so very much.

One tape is called "Where's God when I'm Scared?" and features a song called "God is Bigger".  It goes a bit like this:


God is bigger than the boogie man.
He's bigger than Godzilla and the monsters on TV.
Oh, God is bigger than the boogie man,
And he's watching out for you and me.


Okay, so the actual tape is about being afraid of monsters, and the dark, but, I say it still applies, and it's been stuck on my mind all week, despite there being a million fabulous Veggie songs to sing... maybe because it's so appropriate.

Earlier I shared with you the plight of the children in one orphanage, the one where little Katie came from.  That post is here.

I asked you to pray.  I asked you to pray that God would move mountains for these children, because although some are coming home, they leave behind them over 200 other children with no one to call Mama or Daddy.  And truly, to get these children the care they so desperately needed (as many of them are in a similar condition to that which Katie was when she came home), HUGE mountains needed to be moved.  HUGE, friends.  Careful decisions had to be made, families had to keep quiet when they wanted to shout from the rooftops, those most intimately involved in the process had to strive for what might seem to some like the unattainable - and yet they persevered.  And the rest of us, we waited fervently on our knees in prayer for these dear children, the least of these, whom God - and whom basic human kindness - has commanded us to help.  Everyone pushed on.

Because they know... GOD IS BIGGER.


And on this day I can say to you, friends, that indeed he IS.  The specifics of the situation are somewhat confusing and better spelled out by Katie's mama Susanna on her blog - please read there if you are interested in knowing more than I am sharing.

But in short - when it was discovered, as many of us suspected, that many more of the children in this orphanage were desperately in need of immediate medical care, particularly hospitalizations and surgeries, that could not be funded in their home country, a medical fund was set up to finance their care - to save their lives.  


What, you might think, could we do, to possibly make a dent in the extensive care needed by the over 200 children remaining in this orphanage?  How could we, half a world away, do anything?

Well, my friends, because... GOD IS BIGGER!


On February 25, the conditions of the children were shared on one mom's blog and the fund was set up.  Today, March 15, NINETEEN DAYS after that post, the Pleven Orphans Medical Care Fund sits at over... are you ready for this?

Are you sure?

$26,000 


Nope, I'm not kidding.  Not one little bit.  Now three more children desperately in need of care have been taken to the hospital for treatment.  Others still have been identified.  Help is still needed.  But I come here today not to ask for your help (although if you are moved to do so, I can think of no worthier cause), but to tell you simply that GOD IS BIGGER!


He makes the impossible, possible.  He rescues those considered 'beyond help'.  He is moving mountains for the children of Pleven.  Won't you join me in witnessing this amazing event?  Won't you stare with me in wonder as lives - lives - are SAVED?  As the unadoptable are listed, one by one, for adoption, and brought to forever families, one by one, until they are all home?  Friends, it is because I love you and I want you to feel the deep sense of peace that I feel watching this spectacle, that I ask you to share in it.  If you are so inclined, pray.  Certainly we can't have too much of that.  If you are not - then just watch.  Watch, and be amazed, at what so many deemed impossible happening right before our eyes.  Yes, see the sadness that was, that existed and still exists in this place - but then see the redeeming joy, and know that this is just the beginning.  That is a joy that will go right to your heart - I know, because sick though I am, I sit here beaming as I write this post.

I will continue to share about these and other children, but in the meantime if you'd like more detailed updates on the children of Pleven, these two blogs, to which I earlier linked, are ones to follow:
The Blessing of Verity:  http://theblessingofverity.com/
Only 1 Mom:  http://www.only1mom.com/

Oh, and yeah - all you Veggie Tales loving mamas, you may send your cards of thanks for the week-long earbug on their way any time ;)

Why International Adoption?

So, I had intended to continue my 'A Heart For Adoption' series of posts with another post about how God has prepared me for the adoption journey - an important one - but right now I feel it important to address the 'Why' before I address the 'How'.  Further, I feel it is important to answer the number one question that has been asked of me in two months (ish) since I've made this decision.  So, this post will seek to answer the question of not only "Why", but "Why adoption" and "Why international adoption."

I'll start with the first - Why adoption?  Why not go the traditional route, get married, have your 'own' kids, why pay thousands of dollars for something you can do naturally?  Don't you want your kids to be "yours"?  Don't you want to pass on your genes?  Is something wrong with you?  Can't you have your 'own' kids?

Well, the answer to those questions is not a simple yes or no.  Because truly, I do want a biological child - if only for the amazing experiences unique to giving birth.  Those are things I've dreamed of since I was a child - yes, even the decidedly unglorious stretch marks, engorgements, labor pains.  I do not want to, and I do not feel the need to give up on those aspirations simply because I have decided to adopt.  Many, many people do both.  I'm going to be one of them, biology allowing.  But to clear a few things up, no, I do not want to give birth to have a child that is "mine".  All of my children will be equally mine, no matter how they came to me.  And no, I do not want to give birth to 'pass on my genes'.  I don't know if you've met me, but I'm a bit of an oddball.  Llama.  Any child bearing my genes (or likely, my rearing)... is probably going to be a bit of an oddball too.  Which is okay.  I like odd.  Narwhals.  (The tourettes is getting worse...)  But I don't have any sort of delusion that my genes are 'superior' to anyone else's, or that I need to continue a biological lineage.  As long as I have children and love to give them (and I have so much of that already!) I will have been successful as a mother.

And as for the question "Can't you have children of your own?" - the short answer is, why yes, I most certainly can.  If I can't conceive them, I can adopt them... and hey, guess what?  They will still be my own.  The longer answer is, well, yes, I have endometriosis.  It's currently unknown whether I will be able to have biological children.  The doctors say everything looks okay for now, but many women with endometriosis can't conceive for reasons that can't be physically explained. I personally believe that the amount of testing, medication and radiation that we are exposed to in the course of diagnosis and treatment contributes to infertility issues.  So, well... I won't know, if I can carry a child, until I try.  But my endometriosis and the uncertainty of my childbearing future is not the reason I have a heart for adoption.  It adds to it, certainly, but I do not wish to adopt simply because I may not be able to conceive.  If I could conceive 50 'healthy' children, I'd still want to adopt.  There's just too much of a need.  Make sense to anyone?

Further, as I stated, there is an immense need for adoption.  There are tens of thousands of adoptable children in the world.  Tens of thousands of children growing up in foster care, orphanages, boarding schools, or worse, mental institutions - simply because they were born with some sort of special need, ranging from sometimes fatal genetic conditions, to simple birthmarks!  Having had my heart prepared for adoption - particularly special needs adoption - as described in three recent posts, having seen their little faces, heard their cries for help, their simple desires for a family... how could I say no?

Take a look at the 292 adoptable children here, in my home state of Ohio:  http://adoptionphotolistingohio.org/browse.php

Listen to this:  These words describe a 15 year old girl, whose desperation for the love of a family is painfully evident.  "[The child] really wants a family to call her own.  [She] really wants to be adopted."


She is fifteen.  Older children are statistically less likely to be adopted and more likely to have serious problems tat require dedicated parental involvement.  To be blunt, people want to adopt babies.  And can you blame them?  Babies are amazing!  Everyone should have the priviledge of loving one.  But our older kids need love too, and our special needs kids, and so many others.  I have love to give.  How can I not put those two puzzle pieces together?




So now, since I have acknowledged the tremendous need for adoption, even within my own state... why, you might ask, don't I do that?  Why not skip the politics and uncertainty and complications of international adoption and adopt locally?  Why not foster?

Once again, there is not a simple answer here - at least not at first.  Because, you see, I do plan to do those things.  Specifically, I plan to be a foster parent, to help children feel loved and wanted and find forever families... and even become some of their forever families, when it becomes clear that this child is a member of our family.  For those who don't understand the foster/adoption dynamic (How do you choose which kids to adopt?  You know you can't adopt them all!), I recommend you read the books Another Place At The Table and One Small Boat by Kathy Harrison.  Her words and experience explain it better than I ever could.

So, the short answer is, I recognize and feel called to that need too, and plan to address it.  But there is something more.  A reason why I'm willing to go through apostilles, UCSIS, international politics, travel, expense, severely delayed children, uncertainty, and many, many things that I am historically uncomfortable with.  And that reason can be stated better in a photo than in words.

This is Ksenia (not her real name).

Isn't she precious?  Perfect little toddler girl.  She has Down Syndrome, and because of this, she has grown up in an orphanage.  Orphanages, or 'Baby Houses' as they are often called, can range from wonderfully stimulating places, to warehouses where children are simply stored.  By Ksenia's condition, it is apparent that her needs are at least satisfactorily met at her baby house.

Who, you might ask, is this poor little hurt soul?

This is Ksenia.  The same girl.  Custom in many Eastern European countries is for children to be raised in baby houses until they are 4-6 years old.  At this time they are transferred to adult mental institutions, where they are housed among others who have been there since childhood, or who are higher functioning and often take advantage of the vulnerability of the smaller children.

This word, 'transfer'... is worthy of a post all its own.  But for the sake of understanding, I will try to condense it here.

Transfer means losing the only 'family' a child has ever known.  The orphanage caregivers who have often been with them from birth, the familiar places, the toys, the lifestyle, the care.  Transfer rips all that away, from a child who has already been either literally orphaned or abandoned at birth.  Further, the children are transferred to horrible places.  Places we would prefer to believe do not exist.  Places we would like to relegate as a relic of a distant past, long before Dorthea Dix came along to reform the care of the mentally ill.  But in other countries... these places still exist.  If you have time, there is an amazing documentary on an institution in one Eastern European country that displays the sad realities of these places - places like the one to which little Ksenia was sent, at only 5-6 years old.  You can find it here.  And you know what?  It hurts to watch.  You'll think about it all day.  You'll probably cry.  But the children in this video, who have already been sent to the institution, have almost zero chance of ever being adopted.  They will live out their entire lives here.  We have the ability to watch this video, think about it a while, then go back to our comfortable lives... or not watch it at all, and pretend these horrors don't exist.  The children and young adults in the video?  They don't have that option.  Don't we owe it to them to at least take notice of their lives?

So what does this have to do with the question I'm answering?

THIS:

Does not happen in the United States.  Sure, foster care is not perfect.  Of course children deserve forever families.  Sure, there are abused and neglected children everywhere.  But the system of widespread institutionalization of people with special needs is, for the most part, a relic of the past, in this country.  We have moved from a system of institutionalization to a system of home-based care.  Children do not spend their short days bedridden, simply because they have Down Syndrome - until they pass away at an early age... in this country.

Katie's Mama, Susanna, expressed my thoughts concisely in a recent post, although her point was slightly different from the one I am making.  I should hope she doesn't mind if I quote her here:

What if you went to visit a family you hadn’t seen for years, and when you got to their house, you found out that the parents had been keeping their children in their beds, away from the public eye, foryears.

What if you found out that they valued their children so little that they had never so much as brushed their teeth, so that their children’s mouths were evil-smelling pits containing dark gray bacteria, coated thickly with discolored yellowish rock?  Swollen, bleeding gums?  Sores on their tongues?

The reeking, horrific condition of their mouths made them so unpleasant as to become socially unacceptable.  Stripped of basic human dignity.

Pronouncing their children unlovable, then causing them to become unlovely by failing to love them.

......

Why is it not okay for parents to treat their children that way, but it is “understandable” for orphanage workers not to find the time in nearly ten years to brush a child’s teeth?? 

Susanna's original post can be found here. It is worth reading, and includes beautiful pictures of her daughter. If you have not yet checked out Susanna's blog, please do.  Katie's story is amazing.  And hers is not the only one.  Stories like hers are tragically commonplace in some countries.  Sometimes, they don't have such happy endings.  Most times.

That doesn't happen here.


Anyone can argue that there are isolated cases of severe abuse and neglect that go unchecked until they come to a tragic end.  These cases occur across the globe.  But the systematic institutionalization of nearly all a country's disabled children and adults, combined with the often brutal treatment they receive... That does not happen here.


And until no child lays her head down to sleep in an institution every night, until no bellies go unfilled because the precious little one was unable to take in the rapid flow of slop from her 'bottle'... under the care of what is supposed to be a government sponsored 'aid' program...

I will want to bring them home.


This little boy, 'Vanya', was, years ago, sent to one of these orphanages - and not a good one - and later an institution.  He was thrown away.  Discarded like trash.  Left to die.  His story is chronicled in a book called The Boy from Baby House 10.

'Vanya' is six years old here.  He is unable to walk and in the 'care' of a mental institution.

This precious boy, only a year younger than myself, has Cerebral Palsy.  Because of this, he was considered an 'imbecile' and 'uneducable'.  While he lived the life reflected in that picture, far away, in the United States, another little girl lived this life:

And why?  Because she was born half a world away.  Because she was born to a family who desperately wanted her, who would have taken her home and raised her no matter what challenges she faced.  Because she was born in a place where prosperity reined, and where there were systems in place to help those who found themselves in dire circumstances. 

How is that fair?  

'Vanya', was what we would consider 'lucky' for a child of his condition in his country.  He was adopted by an American family, brought home, given proper medical treatment, educated, and loved.  He became this boy, named John.

What potential!  Look at that handsome young man that was so misunderstood as a child as to be locked away like a prisoner!  Successful!  Coauthor of a book about his own life, his own struggles!  Doing what everyone said he couldn't do.  Because he was adopted and brought to a place where children with special needs are understood and cared for.  This place.  This country.  

So.  Why adoption?  Why international adoption?  Scroll back up and look at those photos again.  Look at precious Ksenia, and imagine the potential she could have if she were treated properly.  Look at the little girl (me, in case you haven't figured that out), smiling at her baby brother, while precious Vanya suffered in an institution.  Head on over to Reece's Rainbow and look at the faces of countless angels still living that life.  Why international adoption?

Because they're worth it.

Disjointed Thoughts and Christmas Gifts

Over the past few days, a number of blog posts have been bouncing around in my head, none of them dominant enough to become the subject of a new post, until now.  Even now, my thoughts are rather disjointed and don't fall into the pattern of one succinct post.  But nevertheless, I have things to share, so a disjointed post this shall be.

Late yesterday I received an early Christmas present; one that had been purchased at no store, wrapped in no shiny paper, placed under any tree.  In fact, those who gave to me this gift, which I already treasure above all others, had no idea they were even giving it.

Weeks ago my eyes were opened to the plight of special needs children abroad by the story of one little girl from an unnamed orphanage in an unnamed country.  This little girl.  I read her story, I looked at the photos of her amazing transformation from emaciated orphan, to beloved daughter.  A website called Reece's Rainbow led me to the blogs of many other families who had adopted from similar orphanages.  Though at first, the family of that first little girl who shared my name, chose not to share what orphanage or even what country their daughter came from, after a little more research and a lot more reading, I had a pretty good idea where it was.  I learned that though all children in orphanages suffer for want of a mother or father, some suffered a worse fate than others as they were treated poorly and warehoused rather than nurtured.  The orphanage where little Katie came from, though not indicative of all orphanages in her country, was one of the worst, due to a cold-hearted director who allowed the children to languish instead of flourish, who cared more for herself than for these tiny souls who depended on her.  A common thread among every person who had come across tales of this orphanage, was an echoing cry of "How can this be allowed to happen?"

Friends, have you heard the phrase "All that is necessary for evil to triumph, is for good men to sit and do nothing"?  Here it applies more than anything else.  Good was not present in this orphanage.  It was not present in this person who was left in charge of these children's care.  This allowed the force of evil to creep in and take over.  Evil is a cunning foe.  It seeps in through the cracks and grows like a weed, taking over anywhere that good is not there to fight it.  Some believe that this evil is directly caused by Satan.  Others such as myself believe in a more abstract version of Satan; as a representation of the evil in the world.  Still others believe it is simply human flaw allowed to grow out of control.  But what is common among all of these, is the belief that evil... is evil.  It's wrong, it's terrible, it's willful destruction of good and innocence.


Yesterday I learned more about how such evil could be allowed to endanger; truly end the lives of many innocent children.  In Bulgaria, where I had previously deduced that Katie was from, an orphanage director must be either a pediatrician or a family physician.  These people, once assigned to their posts, are very difficult to remove, and in some places oversight of their actions is negligible or nonexistant.  In other places, those who see these horrors for themselves turn a blind eye; or halfheartedly try to take action and fail.  But here, in this orphanage from whence came little Katie-bird, GOOD had triumphed over that evil.

A special investigation had occurred.  A group had gone into the orphanage unannounced and documented many human rights violations, deaths, cover-ups, abuse, neglect... horrors which are nearly unspeakable to those of us who have lived pleasant, first-world lives.  The investigative team issued a report, and on the authority of that report, charges were brought up against the director of the orphanage.  As of yesterday, we learned that this director who had evil in her heart, who had allowed these horrible things to happen to these children, had been FIRED!

A Christmas miracle.  A triumph of good over evil.  A reward for the hard work and dedication so many people put in to help these children.  An act of God.  Any of these, all of these, can be used to describe this news.  Ultimately though, there are people we must thank for their efforts to put an end to the torment these children faced daily.  One of them is little Katie's mother, Susanna, who humbly gives the credit for this miracle over to God, but who played no small part by witnessing and documenting the horrors of the orphanage, in changing the circumstances for the children therein.  One of them is a woman named Toni, whom I know only through the writings of various adoptive families, and who is clearly a kindred heart, who worked tirelessly to seek justice for these children.  The countless Babas (this word is Bulgarian, and I am told it is akin to 'grandmother' or 'Nana') who spend their time with the children of the orphanage, providing the only human contact these children may see in weeks, months, years.  I'm sure there are others who remain unnamed.  And finally, there are the children, who hung on so long, who fought so hard, to be alive and there to be witnessed.  Little ones, you had no idea as you lie there, that you were all the while working to save others from the same horrible fate that had befallen you.

This, this is the greatest Christmas gift I could have been given.  Thoughts still bounce around my head; about my surgery, about the future of orphanages like this one, about 'homes' for older children and psychiatric institutions to which children as young as four are transferred among various countries... to the value placed on materialism at this time of year when God's neediest children are all but forgotten... scripture quotes float about my mind... I'm sure many posts are to follow this somewhat disjointed one about other thoughts, topics, realizations... but this one needed to be posted today.  Any readership I have here is likely quite small, but in the event that it is out there at all, every other person deserves to be given the same gift I was this Christmas; so this post needed to be published.

I want to end only with a thank you... to every one of the people whose words, actions, or mere existence, went into changing the circumstances these children face.  Let us hope that in the coming days we will see good done in their lives, changes made, so that other children don't have to follow in the footsteps of those who went before them.  And a thank you, to everyone who brought this news to the attention of all who carried these children in their hearts and minds every day... to those who unknowingly gave me the best gift I will receive this year.  Thank you.