Once again... I am sick.

I hate being sick.  I hate it.  Even just a cold is miserable to me, I don't want to do anything because I ache, I can't breathe, and my head feels full and congested.

I'm lucky to have the advent of modern medicine on my side.  I have two different cold medicines... one that makes me sleepy, and one that doesn't... two different pain relievers to alternate if necessary... a cold can of Dr. Pepper to sip from, a TV with cable on which I can watch any number of shows, movies, the news, DVR recordings... or my current guilty pleasure... Lifetime Original Movies.  *Blushes in shame*.

I'm cozy in my bed under a sheet and three blankets, one of them electric and with a little remote control I can reach without moving hardly at all to adjust the temperature just right.  I'm resting against three pillows and cuddling the blanket that was my 'lovey' as a child.  When the aching gets too bad, I have a big white bath tub that I can fill with hot water and fragrant bubbles to relax... candles to light, a stereo to play relaxing music on...

I have an iPhone - a gift from the Easter Bunny - that I can download apps on, make calls and texts with, browse the web, and any number of other entertaining things.  If I'm feeling really terrible and crawling out of bed is just too much, I can even use that phone to summon my loving mother to come to my aid.  I have a rescue inhaler in case my breathing gets too bad, and a doctor I can call in case I need antibiotics.  There are no less than half a dozen nationally recognized, and even some worldly renowned, hospitals within a short drive from me in case I should develop some complication.

I have a laptop - so I don't even have to leave my bed to check facebook, chat with friends, blog, browse websites, check the weather and more.  I have enough comfy pajama pants and sweatshirts that I could change them twice a day for a week and still not run out of clean ones.  I have a freezer full of popsicles and a coffee shop that has amazing hot chocolate right down the road to soothe my sore throat.  I have a big box of tissues so I can blow my nose... even the kind with lotion in them that don't hurt so much when you have to use way too many of them.  I have any number of fragrant lotions - or plain-smelling but effective ones - that I can rub on my dry, irritated skin.

I could go on and on about the comforts around me, even when I'm sick, even when my body feels broken... but I think you get the picture.

Even with all those comforts though, I'm feeling pretty terrible.  My head feels almost too heavy to hold up, full of congestion and mucous (sorry, I know that is TMI, but it's true), my eyes are red and burning, my throat constantly feels like it's on fire, my skin itches from one of my medications, all I want to do is sleep, my body aches all over, my nose alternates between stuffy and runny, so I'm either constantly wiping or blowing it, making the skin around it red and raw and painful.  Putting the lotion on it hurts so badly it brings tears to my eyes.  I can't breathe well through my nose, especially when I'm sleeping, so my mouth tends to fall open... which in turn makes my sore throat worse.  I hate being sick.  It's miserable.  I can't do all the things I want to do, I have to choose between 'calling in sick' (I put it in quotes because I'm lucky enough to work from home doing childcare) and losing income, or muddling through my job, feeling horrible (which I can do because the kids are the ones who got me sick in the first place!).  Being sick is just no fun.  Fortunately for me, it's just a cold and there is certainly a light at the end of the tunnel.

But now it's time to do a little math.  First, we need to subtract some things from what I just described.  Subtract the comfortable bed, warm blankets, cozy pillows and heaps of clean, comfortable clothes.  Subtract the nice cold beverage and the soothing medicines.  Subtract the loving caregiver and various forms of entertainment you can utilize right from your very bed.  Subtract the ability to blow your nose or wipe it in attempt to make breathing easier.  Subtract access to readily available doctors and hospitals.  Subtract the soothing bubble baths and lotion.  Subtract the bliss of falling into sleep, the brief respite from misery you can have because medications have treated your symptoms.  Subtract the bathroom only a few feet away so you don't have to go far to get to it.  Subtract the lovey and the soothing music.  Subtract the easy access to popsicles and hot chocolate to sooth your sore throat.  Subtract any physical comfort at all, any human contact at all, any entertainment at all... and any hope that it will ever end.

Now add some things.  Add a set of filthy clothes that you've been wearing for days already and will wear for many more days to follow.  Add a mess of food you couldn't swallow fast enough, waste that couldn't be contained by a diaper that is changed once or twice a day at best.   Add a sticky bare vinyl mattress underneath you in an outdated, cold crib pushed right up against the one next to it.  Add a cruel 'caregiver' who only strikes you if you cry out in misery... like the one who struck this little boy:

Add mind-numbing boredom, day in, day out... nothing to do but stare at the same bars of your crib you have been staring at for years.  Add a nose that is both dripping and crusted almost shut because no one has wiped it.  Add a throat that is raw as could be, from which there can be no relief.  Add insomnia caused by the tremendous pain and discomfort you're in, not even allowing your body the sweet release of sleep.  Add, instead of comfort foods, an insufficient amount of scalding, putrid liquid poured down your throat in a haste.  Add, instead of the irritating sinus pressure everyone deals with at some time or another, a head full of pressure and heaviness, not because of a simple temporary cold, but perhaps because you have hydrocephalus that no one has ever bothered to treat... like this little girl...

Marsha has a wonderful family working very hard to bring her and her sister-to-be home.
She is four years old and has never been treated for her hydrocephalus, which is intensely more excruciating than your average headache and cannot be treated at this advanced stage in her country.

Add not only the aches and pains of being ill, but the extra pain and soreness, from the bruises, from the improperly healed fractures, from the contracted joints, from the raw spots where, out of boredom, you've bitten your skin for self stimulation.  Add an angry, red rash from being made to lie in the same diaper all day, or longer.  Add the sounds of the cries of misery from the other children in the room, in their own cribs, experiencing their own torment.




Now, time to solve the equation.  Simple elementary school addition and subtraction.  Subtract all the comforts that make being sick just a little easier.  Add more sources of misery on top of illness.

What you're left with... is what millions of orphans face every single day.  Every.  Single.  Day.  The lucky ones are adopted - but still they have lived these conditions far too long... imagine having a bad cold for four years straight.  Now try to imagine multiplying the misery of that cold over 100 times.  No, perhaps 'lucky' isn't quite the right word.

The others... well, they too eventually get relief from their misery... not in a week or so, like we do when we have a cold, but eventually they get relief...

...when they die...

...alone...

Every time I get sick now, I think about them.  About the children who are sick, with far worse ailments than a cold, but do not have the comforts and privileges I do.  It truly breaks my heart.  Please... help these kids avoid any more torment.

Share.
Pray.
Advocate.
Donate.
Adopt.

http://www.reecesrainbow.org.

"Carissa" - soon to be the newest member of the Matthews family

If you feel inclined to donate right now, would you please consider my friend Lisa Matthews and her family? They are trying to bring their little girl home from a terrible orphanage and are hoping to make their first trip soon, but they are still grossly underfunded.  Lisa lost her mother recently and between her grief and lack of success in fundraising, she has been struggling a lot lately... it would mean the world to me for you to bless her family... and no gift is too small, because every penny counts.  (Click here to be directed to their grant fund)

In whatever way you choose... be a part of the solution.  Help stop any more children from dying alone in pain.  BE the change.  We can't do it without you.

Every time we lose one...

It never gets easier.

A few months ago, we mourned Lynette.

Lynette died alone in Eastern Europe... because she had down syndrome.  She never knew the love of a family.

Since then, more children have been lost.  Died.  I refuse to mince words here, this is the truth.  They died.  They breathed their last breaths alone in a crib.  They couldn't fight anymore and succumbed to illness, malnutrition, abuse, and who knows what else.  They had no family to mourn them or attend a funeral.  They were buried in usually unmarked graves with other children who never got the chance to have a family.  Some of them had been waiting for families for years.  Some of them had families who wanted desperately to bring them home.

Because they had special needs.

Down syndrome.  Cerebral Palsy.  Hydrocephalus.  Spina Bifida.  Dwarfism.

These are not conditions that cannot be treated.  But they cannot be treated in a place where special needs children are not valued, have no families to advocate for them.

So children die.

'Lynette'

'Mali'

'Margaret'

'Walden'

'Jaxon'

And now........................

Sweet baby 'Margaret'... only just a year old.

We got the news of baby Margaret's death today.  She had down syndrome, with a heart complication that could have been surgically corrected in the United States, but for an orphan in Eastern Europe... unless she was adopted... it was a death sentence.  

Margaret had a family trying to commit to her.  Someone wanted her to be their daughter.  Everyone loved her.  Everyone asked about her.  We all prayed for her.  Then, just weeks ago, another adoptive mama unknowingly watched the ambulance carrying a dying baby Margaret away.  Gone, forever.  

Remember January 1?  When you were celebrating with friends at midnight, toasting to the end of 2011 (whether you were glad to bid it farewell or thanking God for the blessings it brought)?  When you made your new year's resolutions?  The day off work?  

All the children pictured here have died since that day.  Their faces will never be seen on this earth again.  No earthly being will hold them close and tell them how loved they are.  They have died, never knowing the love of a family.

The blessing here is that Margaret and her friends are with Jesus now.  He is rocking them in His arms, telling them that they are His children, created beautifully, wonderfully and perfectly in His image.  The love and beauty they are experiencing now is more than anything we could imagine.

But they deserved happiness here on earth too.  They shouldn't have had to leave us so soon.  Because they were discarded by a society who didn't appreciate them for who they were.  

My friends, THIS is why we scream.  This is why I post face after face after face, beg for contributions, money or goods or time... THIS is why, when you think I'm being depressing and irritating by posting so many sad things on my facebook page, I keep yelling.

These deaths were preventable.

If only these children had been seen in time.

My heart is truly broken.

So next time I scream for a precious child - like my Angel Tree child, Elden...http://reecesrainbow.org/13177/elden-14g

Or my friend's Angel Tree child, another boy I love, Brett...

Or a family who is working hard to bring their children home, saving their lives...

Like 'Xenia's family...

Or Everett and Olson's family... 

Or Makayla's Family

...Or so many others...

Those faces are why I do it.  Those ones that will never be seen on this earth again.  I do not want these precious treasures to be next.  Please.  Hear my cries.  Feel their pain.  Ask God to break your heart for what breaks His.  Be a part of the solution... of saving lives.

In loving memory of all the precious angels we have lost...

May the Lord rock you in his arms, hold you, tell you you are loved, until we get there to finally meet you.  Rest in peace, in no more pain, sweet babes.

Remember...

Quickie - ANGEL TREE!

Okay, okay, okay, before I say anything else I'll admit to being horrible at commitment blogging.  I won't break the committment, but sometimes when something's on my mind, I have to get it out first to unblock the rest of the thoughts.

At Reece's Rainbow, traditionally, children with down syndrome ages 0-5 are put on an 'angel tree'.  They are assigned a Christmas warrior (advocates and families sign up for whichever child is on their heart.  They can pick a first, second, and third choice.)  This year is special - three children from each other category (different ages or special needs) are also being included.  Wonderful for my heart for the older kids who haven't been chosen yet.

The job of the Christmas warrior, is to increase exposure of the child, pray for and love the child, and fundraise for the child - the goal for each child being $1,000.   All this is done between the first of November and the end of the year.  Last year, EVERY SINGLE CHILD met their goal.  Some of them have even been chosen for adoption.

Sign-ups for Angel Tree have been posted as starting on September 15 for several weeks now.  One of the first questions asked by this wonderful group of advocates was "so can we sign up at midnight?"  The answer was yes.  Now, I'm normally up late, but tonight I set an alarm on my phone to make sure I didn't get distracted and miss the start of sign-ups.  From 11 pm to 11:40 PM, I combed through every single child listed for Angel Tree.  If you'll look back and remember, I begged for a long time for people to vote for Brett to be on the Angel Tree.  It was pretty logical to put him as my first choice - but I didn't expect it to come to fruition, because he has a lovely and dedicated prayer warrior who is co-hosting an auction for him and other children with me, and I know he's on her heart as much as he is on mine.  Laura, were you up at midnight too?  Haha.  Anyways - my plan was always to raise money for both my AT child and Brett... pay it forward... help another Christmas warrior get their child over that fence.

As I was combing through the list of children... it was kind of funny.  I've spent the last seven years helping to raise two little girls.  I connect better with girls.  I'm drawn to them more.  But not this time.  This time, something was different.  This time, as I combed through all the faces, one little boy popped out at me...  another little boy with down syndrome.

Meet Elden.  

I saw his face, his fine hair, the joy on his face, I read Reece's Rainbow's description of how he was playful and loving and delightful, a blessing to everyone around him.

And I thought of another little boy.

If you've been reading... or if you're family... you've met this little boy... in some way.  Maybe not in person - I never met him in person, but I know him.

This is my uncle Tony... named for my grandfather (Anthony) and lovingly referred to by his family as 'Little Tony'.  He was born with down syndrome.  The doctors told my grandparents horrible things.  He would die within a year.  He wouldn't talk, or walk, or eat.  The best thing for him was to be put in an institution for 'children like this'.

But my grandparents, with their hearts of gold and courage of a thousand men and deep love for 'the least of these'... they did something radical for the time, in the early 1960's.

They brought their baby home.  Their baby with down syndrome.  Their baby that everyone told them to give away.

And guess what?  Not only did he live past the first year... he walked, talked, heard, saw, ate, played, loved, and was loved by everyone around him... for ten years.  All because of a nearly unprecedented choice his parents made.  God only knows what would have happened to him in an institution.  I don't even want to think about it.  I love him too much.  The stories, the pictures, the places, the memories, his favorite things... though I never got to meet him face to face... have shown me his strong, resilient spirit and endless love.  Stories, pictures, memories we would never have had if my grandparents, who already had seven other children at home, the youngest being my mother, who was four years old, had given that little boy up to a place "for children like that".



It makes me think.  Elden's little blurb on Reece's Rainbow describes him as delightful, playful, happy... and his picture... well, there's no denying how absolutely adorable he is, even with premature hair loss that sometimes occurs in children with down syndrome.  Beautifully balding.  Would fit right into my family, come to think of it...

It makes me think... if it were my Uncle Tony that was stuck in that institution across the ocean, likely to be transferred to an adult mental institution where conditions are harsher than harsh soon, no mommy, daddy, brothers or sisters to love and remember him... No M&Ms... none of Grandma's delicious cooking... no family to call his own... awaiting even worse conditions... Wouldn't I do anything to save him?  Wouldn't I scream and cry and war to bring Little Tony home?  You bet I would.

And how is Elden different?  He's a child.  He's not my family - but he's still a child - a child without a family... who deserves to know all the wonderful things about life.  I've never been one to care only for family and put others out of my mind - 'They are someone else's problem'.  Elden IS someone's son, even if they don't know it yet... but because of where he was born, maybe other factors... he hasn't had the opportunities a child with down syndrome growing up in a family home would have.  He hasn't experienced that kind of love.

Just as easily, the child sitting alone in an orphanage could have been my uncle, my friend, or myself.  And I would fight.  Just because we don't share a genetic connection doesn't mean I don't owe the same to Elden.  For we are ALL God's children.  For every child deserves a loving family.

So.... for the next few months, my blog is going to be peppered with posts about both this little boy and Brett (whose Christmas Warrior I very much expect is someone I know), fundraisers to meet that $1,000 goal (and there will be some seriously cool ones, you won't want to miss it... stay tuned!)  We are going to get these boys... boys I was inexplicably drawn to... maybe because of how much they remind me of someone I love... the exposure they need to be found by a family, the grant funding that makes it just a little bit easier for families to take that leap of faith to bring them home.  And then, when (WHEN, not if) families commit to them, we are going to be behind them 100%.

Donations can be made to the boys' accounts here and here, but they will only be counted toward the angel tree total after November 1.  If anyone would like to give before then, I'm willing to open up my personal paypal to keep funds to transfer on November 1 - just ask.  For accountability purposes I would forward the Reece's Rainbow 'receipt' notification to anyone who donated.

Or you can wait until November 1.  Start a change jar like I did... it's an old vinegar bottle, my 'bottle for Brett'.  Before long, another name will be etched onto that bottle.  When it's full, or ready, deposit it and send paypal or a check directly to the boys' grant funds.

Or (AND) you can wait to see the awesome fundraisers I am planning, some of which are more of a pre-Angel Tree awareness booster and will not count toward the $1,000 (but they will certainly count to these kids and the families who eventually step up for them) and others that won't be announced until November 1 or later.  I have some really exciting ideas up my sleeve for that time.  You're all going to call me crazy... but hey, isn't that the name of the blog anyways?  Yep.  Crazy... for the least of these... and I wouldn't have it any other way.

And I also need to put it out there right away that I am happy, comfortable, and have everything I need.  Well, except Ukranian chocolate, but I suppose I'll survive.  There are more toys in this room than Brett or Elden have seen in their entire lives.  Electronic gadgets that would baffle them.

Because this is a Christmas event - I want to let you know I have one thing on my Christmas list... for both of these boys to meet their goals.  I'm past the days of every relative sending gifts, shiny boxes of overpriced random gadgets, even new clothes - I don't grow, so the ones I have are just fine.  I want for very little, material-wise.  But, in doing one simple thing, you can give a Christmas to at least three people.  You see, anyone who puts $35 or more in a child's grant during Angel Tree receives a beautiful ornament with that child's picture to hand on your Christmas tree... maybe remind you that it is the season of giving, of loving, of humbleness... not one of overcrowded superstores and the latest gadgets.  So right there - you've already given a gift to an orphan by contributing to his grant fund.  You've already given a gift to yourself - the beautiful ornament that will come in the mail to remind you of the gift you gave... and lastly... you'd be giving a gift to me.  Because my one and only Christmas wish, is for both these boys to meet their goals... even for families to find them.

Even if you've never considered adopting yourself, look at their little faces again... and make sure you are not scrolling past a picture of your son.  Share this post.  Share Reece's Rainbow.  Sometimes we don't know a child is missing from our families until they come home and you wonder how you ever lived so long without your child.  These kids need exposure.  They need someone to look at them and say 'that's my son.  I have to save him.'  So even if you can't donate, please share these children everywhere you can... facebook, twitter, work, school, neighborhood, blog, email, community event... help us get them seen.

50 years ago... who would've ever thought that this little boy, who the doctors dismissed as a hopeless case...

...would be the inspiration that drove his niece to scream for special needs children who were NOT lucky enough to have families... especially these little boys?

Who would have thought?

Elden (5 years old... a dangerous age to be in his country...)

Brett... turned 11 in August.  He has to find a family soon or he will be lost forever.

Thank you, Uncle Tony, for making me who I am... making me care... even though you never knew you were doing it.  I love you.  Please hold those special needs babes in your arms for me until I get to Heaven... tell them they are not forgotten.

Thank you, Grandma and Grandpa T. (now reunited with their precious son) for making a courageous choice that changed me forever.

And maybe.... thank you for helping me find families for these sweet children.




P.S. - Okay, so maybe I lied about the 'quickie' part.  It seems I can't write short posts.  Sorry <3

It's not 'all better' yet

I know I have kids to profile.  I know there are other blog posts I need to write, but this one is on my mind.

A little over a year ago, it came to light that one of the orphanages in EE that houses many of the waiting children on Reece's Rainbow was beyond our worst fears, the darkest of the dark places, a hell on earth, where skeletal beings that barely resembled the children they once were and could have still been starved and lay in filth, day in, day out.  A place whose own government likened it to one of the Nazi death camps of WWII.

People jumped.  People screamed.  Committed families were found for children, some of them committing to adopt three, four children at once, because it was CLEAR... that these children's only hope of SURVIVAL was to be adopted.  Yes, it really was that dire.  I am not exaggerating.  There is no doubt in my mind that but for the light shed on this place by the first family to see and speak out about the conditions there, more than one child would have died in this past year.  Probably a child whose face we know.  A child who, instead of being on the 'My Family Found Me' page, might've been on the 'In Loving Memory' page. And he or she would not have been alone, for that place averaged one death per month.  Imagine that.  Twelve faces gone forever.

For a while, we thought, OK, good.  Now people see what a horrible place this is and will do anything to get kids out of there.

And friends, I hate to say it, but we overestimated ourselves.

We were sure that as children became available for adoption, families would quickly step forward for each of them.  At first they did.  Then things got a little scarier.  Sarah and Carissa's files were due to be sent back within weeks of their move to the My Family Found Me page.  And Gabby too.  We thought - we'll scream louder.  And then more children were listed, and some of them found families right away.

Some of them didn't.  August went out with many heavy hearts, knowing that the files of two precious and beautiful children had been sent back to the government, because, in two months, no one had stepped up and said "I will go, that is my son, that is my daughter".  None of those people who, when little Katie Musser came home from the orphanage now commonly known as The Bad Place (I believe we have Jennifer to thank for that?  It's very apt.  Right up there with 'He Who Must Not Be Named'.  But I digress.) had said, when advocates cried "JUMP!", had asked, "How high?" were there to jump.  Two files went back to the government.  We, in our inaction, unconsciously sent the government, the very one we have been trying to convince of the value of special needs children, of how much we love and want them in our families, the message that, 'not these ones, they are not worth it.'  No, we didn't mean to send that message.  But you'd better bet that's the one they received.

Now a whole new crop of orphans from The Bad Place are listed on Reece's Rainbow, and more on other sites which I do not follow as closely.  Lydia Rosencrants has done a wonderful job profiling them on her blog.  She herself is adopting two precious treasures from that very place.

And this new crop of orphans?

They sit.  They wait.  They don't have committed families.  No one is coming for them.  Maybe their files will be sent back too.

And why?  Why, all of the sudden, have the hundreds of people who came forward and said 'We want to help, tell us how to adopt a child from this place', disappeared?

I have my suspicions.

Encouraging news has come from the orphanage lately.  News that the new director is trying to get the kids some proper nutrition, that she cares about them, that outside aid to the orphanage is being accepted, that the children are finally playing outside, that many, many more of them are receiving 'Babas' (A Baba is a grandmother figure who spends time with one or two specific children at the orphanage daily).  This is FABULOUS news, right?

But does it mean The Bad Place is fixed?  Does it mean it's not a problem anymore, that it's okay for these kids to stay there, that they don't need families and it doesn't matter if their files get sent back?

NO!  NO, NO, NO, NO!  PLEASE, PLEASE don't allow yourself to be lulled into that false sense of security, because while improvements ARE being made, this is still a place that is awful beyond awful.  You wouldn't send your dog there.  And these are CHILDREN.

Very, very few visitors have been granted access to the top floor of the orphanage, where the 'worst cases' are kept.  Those who have still see stark reminders of the horribleness of this place.  The bottles, those horrible bottles, with the soupy grey mixture in them... beer bottles with a cut nipple stretched over the top, shoved into children's mouths while they lay flat on their backs.  Children who are so terrified to leave their cribs, to be held or interacted with, because it's a completely foreign concept to them... those cribs are all they've ever known.  Children who are still skeletally thin.  Teenagers the size of babies.  Diapers changed once, maybe twice a day, if they're lucky.  And even with the improvements made here... the added nutrition... the light shed on this dark place... yes, in the past 12 months, there have been deaths.

The bottles

Make no mistake.  The Bad Place is still just as much The Bad Place as it was a year ago.  Improving is not the same as 'all better'.  Yes, we are grateful for every one of these improvements.  They are a step in the right direction.  But when you start out with conditions so poor that no ANIMAL, let alone human being, should  have to endure them, there's a looooong way to go to reach 'all better'.  Our own country, knowing of problems in social care homes for children with disabilities, still took YEARS to reform the system and end those conditions.  While improvements have been made, the urgency to get these children out of this place is VERY MUCH the same as it was 12 months ago.

But we're not seeing it anymore.   We're not seeing the rallying for these kids like we did before.  Even families who committed to children in those first months had to wait until close to their final travel dates for the relief of knowing they were fully funded.  Yes, it comes together... we don't, if we can help it, abandon our own in the process.  But it's slowing down, just like the family commitments are slowing down, and leaving those families who DID step up in a frightening lurch, not knowing where the money is going to come from, if it will keep them from getting to their child as quickly as possible when time is very much of the essence.  This should not be.

My friends, we did not do this on purpose, but we became complacent with the news that improvements were occurring in this place.  We unconsciously relegated it in our minds to a state of 'not as bad'.  Well, not as bad as a Nazi death camp isn't exactly saying much.  It's like being transferred from Auschwitz to Theresienstadt.  You're still in a concentration camp.  You still must cling to a thread of life in a desolate place.  You still need out.  It is the SAME in The Bad Place.  Those kids still need out... and bad.  Given a chance to flourish, you should see what these children have become!  Those left behind could do the same... given the chance.

Remember THIS Katie?

Just look at her now!

And trust me, she is not the only one flourishing.  As I get permission to share before/after photos, I will add them to this post or make a separate post.

I urge you now to fight complacency, to steel yourselves to fight for these kids just as you did (or, if you're new to the international adoption scene, as others did) 12 months ago.  Do not mistake improvements for a decrease in urgency.  Do not mistake what looks like a relatively healthy child (ie one who is not grossly malnourished to the point of looking like an infant) for an ACTUAL healthy child, because not much could be farther from the truth.  Don't let the children of The Bad Place fall down on your priority list.

Specifically I'm asking a few things, a few concrete things we can do to fight this complacency, this errant notion that things are 'better'.

1. (And most important) - PRAY!  GOD is the almighty one who will set the lonely in families (Psalms 68:6) and HE can do this.  BELIEVE in the power of prayer.  Did we not pray home each and every child in such fragile condition who is now flourishing?  I am certain that was not done without God's hand on those children.

2. DONATE.  There are families in the process of adopting children from The Bad Place who are still significantly short on funds.  Your gifts to them, however big or small, make their days.  I promise you, the number of times I have seen an adoptive parent overjoyed because their family's grant fund grew by a few bucks is astounding.  You'd be surprised how little you have to do to bless someone enormously.

3. ADVOCATE.  These families and the waiting children alike NEED for us to scream for them.  They need to be seen.  We all have limited resources, but we know, if we all give a little, we can achieve great things.  Widening our pool of people who can give a little will ease the stress on the others and bring about more results more quickly.

4. ADOPT!  Yes, I know not everyone can adopt.  I know not everyone should adopt.  But we are ALL called to care for the orphan, it's there in the Bible, and it's not a calling, it's a commandment.  People care for the orphan in many ways, but many of them rule out adoption because they don't feel 'called' to it.  My request of you is that you truly examine the reasons you feel like adoption is not for you, and make sure that you are not closing a door that God wants you to walk through.  Examine whether it is rationality, or fear, behind those reasons.  And if it's fear?  PLEASE talk to someone who has been involved in the adoption community about the miracles we have witnessed.  Do NOT be afraid.  No one will fault you if adoption is still not for you... but let God close that door if it's meant to be closed.  Don't ignore him tapping on your shoulder like I did for nine days before I started this blog.  I promise, he won't leave you alone until you listen.


Finally, I want to acknowledge that the place I am referring to is NOT the only bad place by far.  Conditions in orphanages all over the world are terrible, but because of the way the system works in the country these children are in, their window of opportunity is very limited.  It is a combination of factors that makes this particular place one of urgency.  Certainly I would not fault anyone for adopting from or supporting a family who is adopting from another orphanage - not one bit - they all need to come home.  I just don't want this notion that things are 'better' at The Bad Place to stand between these kids and their families.  Maybe, someday, it will be 'all better'... but that starts with getting those kids out of there, and that starts with YOU - whatever role you choose to take.

I have included within, or am including below, links to lists of families adopting from The Bad Place, links to blogs of some families who I have been following in their journey to bring their children home, or who have been advocating for these children, or both - and am also including below the photos of each child currently waiting on Reece's Rainbow from The Bad Place, and a link to their profile.  I will also be profiling these children in more detail with my angel tree children as time and space allow.  Please see the children.  Please see the families.  Please act.

Blogroll of families adopting from The Bad Place

The Children of The Bad Place - Part I

The Children of The Bad Place - Part II

And here are their faces.  Look at the ages below the children's pictures (their names and ages are also links to their profiles).  I promise you will be shocked by the ages of these children... malnutrition has left them looking much younger than they are, their bodies are in a state of starvation and have all but shut down.)  As you look at the pictures and the ages that go along with them, remember that little Katie was nine years old when that first heartbreaking photo of her was taken.  She was functioning at the level of a 0-3 month old baby.  For these children, age is indicative of nothing but how long they've suffered in an orphanage.

Presley is three years old.

Kramer is eight years old.

Carson is six years old.

Chad is nine years old.

Brandi is six years old.

Gage is two years old.

Garnet is ten years old.
This little one is also up for Angel Tree voting this week.

Harvey is three years old.

Thad is nine years old.

Theodore is ten years old.

See their faces.  Pray.  Advocate.  Donate.  Adopt.  However you choose to do it, care for the children and families of The Bad Place.  Care for the least of these.  PLEASE.

Not To Be Forgotten: Boys with DS, Ages 6-9, Part II (Plus one!)

Last week I kicked off a new campaign to advocate for the children from Reece's Rainbow who were nominated for Angel Tree but did not receive the majority vote/drawing winner's choice.  It is a sentiment I've heard echoed over and over among advocates and adoptive families - 'I want to vote for one child, but it makes me so sad for the rest...'

This, my friends, is a sign of a truly loving and Godly community.  As much as we love our 'favorite' RR kiddos, we advocate for the least of these, and that means every single one of these kids.  So, as loud as I screamed for 'my' Brett (Brett #19) during week 3, now it's time to scream for those left behind.

So here's the deal.  For the next 13 weeks, I will be posting twice a week, each post highlighting four of the children who were not chosen for Angel Tree.  I will go in order of the voting, starting with boys with down syndrome, ages 6-9.  Last week I posted for four of these boys - due to some real-life factors, I got behind on the other three (one of these boys has found a family already - so there are only 7 left!) so I'm playing catch-up.  Because I'm 'short' a kid in this category, I will be adding a 'plus one' - another child who is on my heart who desperately needs to come home.  There are a good number of those children as well, so unless you folks get committing to kids, this may run 14 weeks or more in all reality!

A friend who is helping me created this video of the boys in this category as well as the boys with DS over 10 years old.  It's a wonderful introduction to these little guys and their friends who will be featured in the coming days, and certainly worth watching - check it out right here!

Credits to Beth for the video!

...To sweeten the deal even further, I'm offering a giveaway.  I don't have anything fancy to give away, no iPads or even gift cards, only my humble services.  It is my hope that this campaign will drum up a few more followers for this blog - because more followers means more people looking at these kids, which equals a greater pool of potential families.  So, every two weeks, I will draw names from a pool of people who donated or shared these posts.  The winner will get to choose any RR child, and the following week I will do a post all about that specific child.  If you have photos or personal stories you want me to include, I'll be happy to do so.  Just reply to the post with who you donated to (any of the children featured in that post, or of course my Brett - can't leave him out...) in ANY amount, or where you shared the post (no need to post a link, just facebook/twitter/blog) and you'll be entered into the drawing.  If you donate AND share, you can receive two entries.  Since any donation amount earns you an entry, the maximum possible number of entries will be 2 per person per post.  Since there will be 2 posts per week and 2 weeks per voting period, this means a maximum of 8 entries for any one person in any one drawing.  Also apparently an incentive to recall your high school knowledge of exponents... I'll keep everyone apprised of where we are in the voting period with each post.  As of this post (Technically the second Week 1 post), this is the second of four posts to enter the first giveaway period.  

Let's see if we can't start making a difference to these boys who were 'passed over' in angel tree voting - BEFORE angel tree even begins!  Everyone wins here - the kids win when you donate to their grant funds, you win when you get to choose your very own angel to highlight, I win when people read my blog and do what I want so badly for them to do - notice these kids!  

Now let's finish out week 1!

Boys with Down Syndrome, Ages 6-9

Mickey

And here's what Reece's Rainbow has to say about Mickey:

Boy, Born June 2005
Special need: Down syndrome (no heart issues) This very sweet young boy has Down syndrome.   He is well loved by his foster mother and father. He was a dancer in the orphanage performance.   Whenever he hears music he starts dancing.   He was cooperative and happy. He can wash his face if his foster mom gets the towel ready and can do other self help skills.   He can feed himself and. He can pull his pants up and down.   He has good speech and can say many words.   He pulls his chair to the table when it is time to eat and he will clean his mouth after he eats.  He is kind when he plays with other children and does not take their toys.  He likes to run around and play with balls.   He is very curious and likes to watch large machinery outside.   He loves cars and will play with them and watch them out the window for long periods of time. He was described as a “happy, curious and lovely child.”   He is healthy and energetic. He is friendly to others and sensible! He does not have any heart issues. Single moms permitted, no more than 6 children at home, only one parent has to travel. $110.70 is available towards the cost of my adoption!

Oh, what a sweetie!  If his picture didn't do you in, I'll bet that loving description did.  Someone cares very much for this little boy... he is very lucky to be in foster care rather than an orphanage setting... but unfortunately, for an orphaned child, this is something that can change in the blink of an eye, and when it does, it turns their world upside down.  Imagine being in a loving home - even if not your home, not your own belongings - getting individual attention and care every day... then suddenly being transferred to an orphanage or institution, where you're only one of many, many mouths to feed, a means to an end, just someone's paycheck.  You'd be lonely, scared, sad, and you wouldn't understand what this was or why it happened to you.  This is the sort of thing that creates attachment disorders.  But it doesn't have to be that way!  Mickey is in a foster home!  Many times, if a child in foster care has an adoptive family commit to them, they will be kept in foster care even when they might have been transferred to await their family.  YOU could be the difference between Mickey and this scary, uncertain future... please, don't let what would be the biggest tragedy of his little life come to fruition.  And if you can't go get him, a situation I'm in myself, won't you donate just a little bit to his grant fund, to make things that much easier for the family who does commit to him?  Trust me when I tell you that every single penny DOES count to these families!  Donate to Mickey HERE.

Jaeger

Reece's Rainbow on Jaeger:  

Boy, born March 2006
Diagnosis: Down syndrome
Eyes and hair black

*The agency has a video of him at 6 years, 2 months old.  He is putting together a puzzle, playing on a playground, and adorable!  Video available for serious inquiries*

Oh my goodness, the grin on this boy!  Even with the poor quality of the picture, Jaeger’s personality shines!

The information we have is from 2009, when he was 3 years old.   He has received special ed services, starting in 2008.   He can understand and follow sample instructions, he begins games and has started potty training.  He eats well, and feeds himself.

He walks and moves well through obstacles.  He has good eye-hand coordination while playing, but not good eye-feet coordination yet.  He loves the pool.  He likes his caregivers and smiles and is very affectionate.

He is really a happy boy and healthy, with good skills for his age.

The paperwork also stated that at the time, he needed treatment for his teeth.

Update from 2010:

He starts his own games, he likes making strokes with pencil or crayons, he can now use scissors . He helps keep the toys in right places.

Jaeger is a social child, he participates with his peers, he integrates into a group, he walks, runs, jumps, climbs and turns without difficulty; but he is not aware of the danger.  He receives physical therapy and occupational therapy to increase his abilities.

·         Large families okay (with adequate space in the home)

·         One trip – total travel time 21-30 days in country (one parent can leave earlier)

·         Average length of time from Dossier submission to travel is 7-10 months

·         Total costs estimated around $27,000

$1215.00 is available towards the cost of my adoption!

Like Mickey, Jaeger has been lucky.  (Anyone else find that funny?  Mickey and Jaeger?  No, just me, and I'm a dork?  Fine.)  He has been able to receive services in the orphanage and has come a long way because of it.  But like Mickey, what's next for Jaeger is anything but a guarantee.  Will this sweet boy, who has been taught to care for himself and to enjoy play, love, and care, continue to receive those things?  The last update for Jaeger is from 2010.  Is he still receiving those services, or has he, as I feared for Mickey, been passed on to a place where there is no therapy, no care, no love?  There is only one way to absolutely secure a bright future for Jaeger, and it begins with you.  Donate to Jaeger HERE.

Felix

What a handsome young man!  Here's what Reece's Rainbow has to say about Felix:

Boy, Born October 20, 2003

Diagnosis: Down syndrome

What a cutie!  Betcha he is a handful!  Felix is blessed to be at more of an internat than the institution.  He doesn’t have many words of his own, but his receptive understanding is very good.  He is potty trained and does ask to go to the bathroom.  He is described by his caregivers as very friendly and quite the comedian!

More photos available, married couples only.

$1049.50 is available towards the cost of my adoption!

...Did you catch it too?  Read that description again.  Did you catch it this time?
 ..."more of an internat than the institution"...
Imagine if the greatest blessing on your life was NOT to be in a mental institution.  Imagine if the greatest thing that had ever happened to you was to be placed in a home for older orphans?  And not even just 'an internat' but 'more of an internat than an institution'.  What does that mean?  Does it mean it's 'sort of' an institution?  It's only 'sort of' an internat?  So is Felix only 'sort of' blessed?  He sure would be more blessed to be *adopted*.  To be somebody's son, somebody's brother, somebody's friend?  Let me tell you, Felix is blessed to be in 'more of an internat' for now, but that blessing does not last forever.  All that awaits Felix in his country is the institution, and even if he didn't have down syndrome, older children who age out of internats are turned out on the streets between the ages of 16-18 years old with nothing more than a rucksack and $100 to their names... 80% will fall into crime or prostitution.  But for Felix?  He has an extra copy of the 21st chromesome, and because of that, he will live out his days in mind-numbing dullness and bare minimal care at an institution.  I've known people who have been to the institutions in Felix's country.  These boys' days are made by the rarely visiting adoptive family bringing tidings of chalk and bubbles.  Chalk and bubbles!  Party favors, in America!  For them, maybe the best thing that happened to them all year.  I can't even put into words how much this breaks my heart.  Regardless of what his present is, don't let that be his future.  Donate to Felix HERE.


Now for our 'plus one'...

Presley

 This little girl is in what has become known as 'the bad place'.  And that is putting it mildly.  The orphanage she calls 'home' (or would, if she could speak at all), is a dark, dark place, devoid of love, care, and stimulation.  It was called, by the government of its own country, their 'Auschwitz' - after the Nazi death camp of WWII.  This place averages one death every month - mostly from preventable causes like malnutrition.  It is this that makes her situation so URGENT... this and the fact that in her country, an agency only has a child's file for two months - after that the files are returned.  They can still be assigned to another agency or requested, but it's fair to say that a child's chances of being adopted are somewhat diminished at that point.

Here's what Reece's Rainbow has to say about Presley (who, perhaps also fell victim to someone listening to their iTunes while naming kids?)

DOB: 2009
Diagnosis: delays in all aspects of development, behaviors consistent with severe Autism

Presley is almost 3 years old. We have recent reports from a doctor and a child psychologist not affiliated with the orphanage that includes their opinions based on observations and a review of her medical history. Presley does not walk, talk or have any self-help skills. She does not play with toys and avoids interactions with adults and children. The reports indicate that Presley’s physical growth is significantly delayed, both her height, weight and head circumference. Her weight is comparable to an 8 month old baby. The doctor’s report indicates the following: “The child presents anti-social behavior, lack of adequate human contact, willingness to remain isolated and elements of aggressiveness- Autism”. The psychological report indicates that Presley avoids contact with other people and will withdraw if contact is initiated, avoids eye contact and does not play with toys nor attempt to manipulate them at all (bang them together, etc) when they are given to her. Her responses appear to be only sensory related. She does have self-stimulating behaviors. Her cognitive development is listed at a 5 month old level and her social and communication development at below 3 months old.

Presley was born premature and has spent her entire life in an orphanage that is known to have sub-par care. It is possible that some of her delays are a result of her environment. Interested families should be prepared for the fact that the behaviors noted do indicate more than basic “orphan delays” per the reports. Both the medical and psychologist reports are available for families interested in adopting Presley.

Additional photos of Presley are available.

All that sounds awfully scary... severe autism... aggressiveness... but even though it is stated that Presley's delays are greater than average orphanage delays, many of the things said about her could be said about many of the children in this orphanage... before they were given a chance.  And you should see them now!  In fact... you probably have... 

Presley deserves a chance too.  She's just a little girl, only three years old.  She could receive so much intervention and therapy and care in the U.S... but someone has to step out in faith first.  Because her file will go back to the government in less than two months and she will no longer be able to be listed with Reece's Rainbow, Presley does not have a 'donate' button - but once a family commits to her, she will.  Are you that family?



PLEASE don't forget to donate (in ANY amount) to these kids or to Brett #19, and to share this post, (and don't forget to let me know in a comment!) to be entered to choose a child to receive a post of his/her own at the end of this giveaway period (#1 - will end at the end of this week).  There is only ONE entry so far so this could be a cheap and easy chance to get the child of your heart noticed!  Since I'm behind, there will be a few posts this week so STAY TUNED!