Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

Dear sweet Alivia - this post is for you - someday.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
From now on 
Our troubles will be out of sight...

Let your heart be light, princess.  Take that joy you have deep down inside you and don't let anybody take it away from you.  Believe in magic.  Believe in love.  Believe that someone out there is thinking of you tonight.

I can't promise that our troubles will go away.  I tried to make them go away and I couldn't.  I'm sorry, princess.  But hold that light in your heart and let it burn so bright that it chases away the shadows.  It is my prayer that your troubles flee your sight.  Someday we will be free.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Make the Yule-tide gay,
From now on
Our troubles will be miles away...

Stop giggling, goofy pants.  They mean gay like happy.  ;)

Once, our troubles were miles away.  Remember?  It was so perfect.  Don't lose those memories baby.  Let them be the light that shines inside of you.  No one can take them away from you.  Someday, we'll be there again... our troubles miles away.  Someday.  I promise.  And I'm keeping this one.

Here we are as in olden days
Happy golden days of yore
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more

Here we are in our 'olden days' (no, contrary to what you might think, the 'olden days' were not the time when I was a little girl!)  Those were truly happy, golden days.

Days with our faithful friends, our little patchwork family, gathered together, year after year, thick and thin, through the best and the worst of times.  Someday we will all be together again.

2006

2009

2010

Through the years
We all will be together
If the fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now.


Through all these years we have been together.  Six years together.  Six Christmases.  Birthdays.  School days.  Snow days.  Hard days.  Perfect days.

This year we're not together.  The 'fates' did not allow.  It will be our first real Christmas apart... the first year I don't get to see that smile on your face with every present you open, the first year you don't grill me about Santa, the first year I don't agonize over making sure your holiday is perfect.  I don't like it, not one bit.

But someday... we have lots more years... we will all be together again - if the fates allow.  I think they will.  We're family, kiddo, we may not have started out that way, but we are now, and you can't keep family apart.

Until then... enjoy yourself.  Hold onto the magic.  I hope somewhere you have a tree to hang a shining star on (even though ours always had an angel).  If you don't... imagine it, in your mind.  Like in A Little Princess - do you remember when we watched that movie?  How they imagined all the riches and fine foods they would have if they could, and then they woke up and it was all there?  I hoped you remembered that scene.  Imagine it, and it will be real inside of you, sweetie.

I miss you.  I love you.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

We're still waiting... we'll never stop.  Elephants never forget, you know.