It's not 'all better' yet

I know I have kids to profile.  I know there are other blog posts I need to write, but this one is on my mind.

A little over a year ago, it came to light that one of the orphanages in EE that houses many of the waiting children on Reece's Rainbow was beyond our worst fears, the darkest of the dark places, a hell on earth, where skeletal beings that barely resembled the children they once were and could have still been starved and lay in filth, day in, day out.  A place whose own government likened it to one of the Nazi death camps of WWII.

People jumped.  People screamed.  Committed families were found for children, some of them committing to adopt three, four children at once, because it was CLEAR... that these children's only hope of SURVIVAL was to be adopted.  Yes, it really was that dire.  I am not exaggerating.  There is no doubt in my mind that but for the light shed on this place by the first family to see and speak out about the conditions there, more than one child would have died in this past year.  Probably a child whose face we know.  A child who, instead of being on the 'My Family Found Me' page, might've been on the 'In Loving Memory' page. And he or she would not have been alone, for that place averaged one death per month.  Imagine that.  Twelve faces gone forever.

For a while, we thought, OK, good.  Now people see what a horrible place this is and will do anything to get kids out of there.

And friends, I hate to say it, but we overestimated ourselves.

We were sure that as children became available for adoption, families would quickly step forward for each of them.  At first they did.  Then things got a little scarier.  Sarah and Carissa's files were due to be sent back within weeks of their move to the My Family Found Me page.  And Gabby too.  We thought - we'll scream louder.  And then more children were listed, and some of them found families right away.

Some of them didn't.  August went out with many heavy hearts, knowing that the files of two precious and beautiful children had been sent back to the government, because, in two months, no one had stepped up and said "I will go, that is my son, that is my daughter".  None of those people who, when little Katie Musser came home from the orphanage now commonly known as The Bad Place (I believe we have Jennifer to thank for that?  It's very apt.  Right up there with 'He Who Must Not Be Named'.  But I digress.) had said, when advocates cried "JUMP!", had asked, "How high?" were there to jump.  Two files went back to the government.  We, in our inaction, unconsciously sent the government, the very one we have been trying to convince of the value of special needs children, of how much we love and want them in our families, the message that, 'not these ones, they are not worth it.'  No, we didn't mean to send that message.  But you'd better bet that's the one they received.

Now a whole new crop of orphans from The Bad Place are listed on Reece's Rainbow, and more on other sites which I do not follow as closely.  Lydia Rosencrants has done a wonderful job profiling them on her blog.  She herself is adopting two precious treasures from that very place.

And this new crop of orphans?

They sit.  They wait.  They don't have committed families.  No one is coming for them.  Maybe their files will be sent back too.

And why?  Why, all of the sudden, have the hundreds of people who came forward and said 'We want to help, tell us how to adopt a child from this place', disappeared?

I have my suspicions.

Encouraging news has come from the orphanage lately.  News that the new director is trying to get the kids some proper nutrition, that she cares about them, that outside aid to the orphanage is being accepted, that the children are finally playing outside, that many, many more of them are receiving 'Babas' (A Baba is a grandmother figure who spends time with one or two specific children at the orphanage daily).  This is FABULOUS news, right?

But does it mean The Bad Place is fixed?  Does it mean it's not a problem anymore, that it's okay for these kids to stay there, that they don't need families and it doesn't matter if their files get sent back?

NO!  NO, NO, NO, NO!  PLEASE, PLEASE don't allow yourself to be lulled into that false sense of security, because while improvements ARE being made, this is still a place that is awful beyond awful.  You wouldn't send your dog there.  And these are CHILDREN.

Very, very few visitors have been granted access to the top floor of the orphanage, where the 'worst cases' are kept.  Those who have still see stark reminders of the horribleness of this place.  The bottles, those horrible bottles, with the soupy grey mixture in them... beer bottles with a cut nipple stretched over the top, shoved into children's mouths while they lay flat on their backs.  Children who are so terrified to leave their cribs, to be held or interacted with, because it's a completely foreign concept to them... those cribs are all they've ever known.  Children who are still skeletally thin.  Teenagers the size of babies.  Diapers changed once, maybe twice a day, if they're lucky.  And even with the improvements made here... the added nutrition... the light shed on this dark place... yes, in the past 12 months, there have been deaths.

The bottles

Make no mistake.  The Bad Place is still just as much The Bad Place as it was a year ago.  Improving is not the same as 'all better'.  Yes, we are grateful for every one of these improvements.  They are a step in the right direction.  But when you start out with conditions so poor that no ANIMAL, let alone human being, should  have to endure them, there's a looooong way to go to reach 'all better'.  Our own country, knowing of problems in social care homes for children with disabilities, still took YEARS to reform the system and end those conditions.  While improvements have been made, the urgency to get these children out of this place is VERY MUCH the same as it was 12 months ago.

But we're not seeing it anymore.   We're not seeing the rallying for these kids like we did before.  Even families who committed to children in those first months had to wait until close to their final travel dates for the relief of knowing they were fully funded.  Yes, it comes together... we don't, if we can help it, abandon our own in the process.  But it's slowing down, just like the family commitments are slowing down, and leaving those families who DID step up in a frightening lurch, not knowing where the money is going to come from, if it will keep them from getting to their child as quickly as possible when time is very much of the essence.  This should not be.

My friends, we did not do this on purpose, but we became complacent with the news that improvements were occurring in this place.  We unconsciously relegated it in our minds to a state of 'not as bad'.  Well, not as bad as a Nazi death camp isn't exactly saying much.  It's like being transferred from Auschwitz to Theresienstadt.  You're still in a concentration camp.  You still must cling to a thread of life in a desolate place.  You still need out.  It is the SAME in The Bad Place.  Those kids still need out... and bad.  Given a chance to flourish, you should see what these children have become!  Those left behind could do the same... given the chance.

Remember THIS Katie?

Just look at her now!

And trust me, she is not the only one flourishing.  As I get permission to share before/after photos, I will add them to this post or make a separate post.

I urge you now to fight complacency, to steel yourselves to fight for these kids just as you did (or, if you're new to the international adoption scene, as others did) 12 months ago.  Do not mistake improvements for a decrease in urgency.  Do not mistake what looks like a relatively healthy child (ie one who is not grossly malnourished to the point of looking like an infant) for an ACTUAL healthy child, because not much could be farther from the truth.  Don't let the children of The Bad Place fall down on your priority list.

Specifically I'm asking a few things, a few concrete things we can do to fight this complacency, this errant notion that things are 'better'.

1. (And most important) - PRAY!  GOD is the almighty one who will set the lonely in families (Psalms 68:6) and HE can do this.  BELIEVE in the power of prayer.  Did we not pray home each and every child in such fragile condition who is now flourishing?  I am certain that was not done without God's hand on those children.

2. DONATE.  There are families in the process of adopting children from The Bad Place who are still significantly short on funds.  Your gifts to them, however big or small, make their days.  I promise you, the number of times I have seen an adoptive parent overjoyed because their family's grant fund grew by a few bucks is astounding.  You'd be surprised how little you have to do to bless someone enormously.

3. ADVOCATE.  These families and the waiting children alike NEED for us to scream for them.  They need to be seen.  We all have limited resources, but we know, if we all give a little, we can achieve great things.  Widening our pool of people who can give a little will ease the stress on the others and bring about more results more quickly.

4. ADOPT!  Yes, I know not everyone can adopt.  I know not everyone should adopt.  But we are ALL called to care for the orphan, it's there in the Bible, and it's not a calling, it's a commandment.  People care for the orphan in many ways, but many of them rule out adoption because they don't feel 'called' to it.  My request of you is that you truly examine the reasons you feel like adoption is not for you, and make sure that you are not closing a door that God wants you to walk through.  Examine whether it is rationality, or fear, behind those reasons.  And if it's fear?  PLEASE talk to someone who has been involved in the adoption community about the miracles we have witnessed.  Do NOT be afraid.  No one will fault you if adoption is still not for you... but let God close that door if it's meant to be closed.  Don't ignore him tapping on your shoulder like I did for nine days before I started this blog.  I promise, he won't leave you alone until you listen.


Finally, I want to acknowledge that the place I am referring to is NOT the only bad place by far.  Conditions in orphanages all over the world are terrible, but because of the way the system works in the country these children are in, their window of opportunity is very limited.  It is a combination of factors that makes this particular place one of urgency.  Certainly I would not fault anyone for adopting from or supporting a family who is adopting from another orphanage - not one bit - they all need to come home.  I just don't want this notion that things are 'better' at The Bad Place to stand between these kids and their families.  Maybe, someday, it will be 'all better'... but that starts with getting those kids out of there, and that starts with YOU - whatever role you choose to take.

I have included within, or am including below, links to lists of families adopting from The Bad Place, links to blogs of some families who I have been following in their journey to bring their children home, or who have been advocating for these children, or both - and am also including below the photos of each child currently waiting on Reece's Rainbow from The Bad Place, and a link to their profile.  I will also be profiling these children in more detail with my angel tree children as time and space allow.  Please see the children.  Please see the families.  Please act.

Blogroll of families adopting from The Bad Place

The Children of The Bad Place - Part I

The Children of The Bad Place - Part II

And here are their faces.  Look at the ages below the children's pictures (their names and ages are also links to their profiles).  I promise you will be shocked by the ages of these children... malnutrition has left them looking much younger than they are, their bodies are in a state of starvation and have all but shut down.)  As you look at the pictures and the ages that go along with them, remember that little Katie was nine years old when that first heartbreaking photo of her was taken.  She was functioning at the level of a 0-3 month old baby.  For these children, age is indicative of nothing but how long they've suffered in an orphanage.

Presley is three years old.

Kramer is eight years old.

Carson is six years old.

Chad is nine years old.

Brandi is six years old.

Gage is two years old.

Garnet is ten years old.
This little one is also up for Angel Tree voting this week.

Harvey is three years old.

Thad is nine years old.

Theodore is ten years old.

See their faces.  Pray.  Advocate.  Donate.  Adopt.  However you choose to do it, care for the children and families of The Bad Place.  Care for the least of these.  PLEASE.